conversations that really matter

This blog was started to track conversations about business, but some exchanges eclipse any commercial interaction.

On Sunday morning I sat beside a child in church.

Her dad was teaching Sunday School. Since she has outgrown her dad's class, he wants her to sit in the main service and learn to take notes. So side-by-side we wrote. Her inscriptions were sparse. When I turned my paper to the second side, the child marveled, "You're like my dad! How can you take so many notes?"

"We listen for the things that are interesting to us," I explained. "And we try to follow the preacher's outline and get his main points. More important, we listen for what's meaningful and write that down."

Her notes got thicker, more interesting, and more meaningful. The preacher is new to our congregations, so his sermon began autobiographically ("there is nothing good about me except for Jesus Christ"), and moved into preparing us for communion.

"What is it that commends me to this table?" the preacher asked, and the child wrote that down. "My sin," the preacher answered, and the child wrote that down. "Christ came not to save the righteous but sinners," he continued, and the child wrote it down. Later she observed to her dad, "He was talking about justification." She got the point.

We can never be good enough. Some people examine themselves and, finding themselves wanting, bypass the bread and wine (or juice). At the same time, our preacher noted, we can never be good enough. Communion is not about tallying our badness to bar us from eating nor tallying our goodness to earn the right to eat: it is about coming before our Saviour and receiving his gift of salvation. "Is there anything God can't do?" asked the preacher. "Yes: God cannot see my sin when it is covered by the blood of Jesus."

So communion followed, and the child bypassed the bread, telling me, "I don't know if I'm allowed." I called the usher back to serve her. She took a piece of bread and I inquired, "Are you a sinner in need of a Saviour?" She nodded with a look of wonder. I replied, "Then you're allowed." She smiled, relieved.

I know that training in religion can be controversial, that some biological parents are even reticent to 'indoctrinate' their own children. But all adults who associate with children have a hand in training the young, whether explicitly or implicitly. Why not train intentionally rather than haphazardly? We can do it without imposing. We can invite without forcing. We can encourage with certain spiritual disciplines without damaging. We can offer the truth (as we understand it), in hopes that the child will grow to a reflective adult who chooses and responds well and discerns what really is truth and what is not.

This is the real work that matters: to train children in ways they should go. And Sunday morning was one such rich moment for me.

Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

sharpening, polishing, naming

AN EMAIL

August 27, 2010

Dearest Colleen

A couple of weeks ago I was cleaning up and I found a series of old notes between you and I from way back in our Briercrest days.* You sent me a poem by Madeleine L’Engle poem (or is it Luci Shaw?) where it mentions her friend polishing her silver? It is a poem celebrating their friendship and work together  I have always thought of it as a gentler feminine version of the Bible's as "iron sharpens iron."  In my note back to you I said, "thank you for polishing my silver." And I thank you again.

much much blessing be upon you,

Kathleen

*About 6 years ago.

 

A POEM

(found in Friends for the Journey by Madeleine L’Engle and Luci Shaw)

Madeleine’s Candlesticks

by Luci Shaw

Zabar’s, a New York Saturday morning, I bought

a box of rosy pillar candles, stacked

like quadruplets in the womb, for her four

 

silver candlesticks which stand, flanking

the orange tulips at table center, tall

and elegant as Madeleine herself. Flames

 

have danced their highlights on the

visiting faces around the oval table ever since

the sterling quartet was willed to her.

 

Every visit I search the kitchen for

the soft cotton rags and the clay-colored polish

(a favor; her maid “doesn’t do silver”).

 

One afternoon, buffing away, I noticed her name,

misspelled “Madeleine,” etched dark and faint

along one elliptical base. I knew then I was polishing

 

not just her treasures but my friend, burnishing

with the well-worn cloth of friendship her silver

self, lifting the light tarnish of time and wear.

 

Like my shining her words into their

places in her books; like her lighting

blooms of fire in a thousand shadowed minds.

 

THREE NAMES

I first knew as Kathleen as Kathy in the fall of 1998. Everyone knew her as Kathy. She grew up answering to Kathy. But during the time I knew her at Briercrest, she experienced a beautiful transformation that was both visible (her appearance) and invisible (her spirit). She went from sweet and smart, to graceful and wise. With the transformation, she wanted to start using her full name, Kathleen. She had already borne and was homeschooling three children, she ran a home business, managed her household competently and creatively, was completing a BA, and more, yet the choice to go from Kathy to Kathleen seemed to signal a shift from girl to woman. Loving it, I was among the first to call her Kathleen. It’s always a surprise to hear people call her anything else.

My friend Judith did the same. She grew up as Judy. She married, made a home, mothered two daughters, and was close to becoming a grandmother when she realized she had outgrown Judy and had grown into her full name, Judith: a decisive, mature, and comforting name.

Then there’s Eden whose name used to be Edith. Edith is a respectable name, somehow matronly, but Eden signifies new and fruitful life, rich and welcoming. This is Eden . Since changing her name, she has been ordained as a pastor in her church and her husband says both the name and the role fit her perfectly.

collecting votes

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22

Last week my friend Michelle came to visit. We laughed. A lot. We had deep conversations. She spent about 7 hours on Wednesday helping me rearrange the Ambrose Bookstore (before & after).

 

She challenged me in several areas. One question was, “What does a settled Colleen look like?” She thought I was particularly settled and peaceful in Duval/Strasbourg. What was the difference between those two years and other life seasons?

“I gave myself,” I replied. “I had nowhere else  to go, and nowhere else I wanted to go.”

This seemed key.

I also talked with our friend Dale. She had slightly different opinions from Michelle.

Then I got an email from Judith. We discussed these things back and forth. She reminded me that it’s not about giving myself to a place or a person or a task, but it’s first about giving myself to God.

Epiphany: too often I pretend to seek counsel when really I’m polling my friends and collecting votes on my decisions. I don’t trust my inner compass. I forget to give myself to God and trust him with to provide guidance and peace. The most important conversation of all.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

you would think ...

... that I haven't been having conversations in the last two months, or at least that they're not related to vision and goals. But I have. And it has often been hard work. I've been experiencing a bit of a cocooning process. In fact, if it were easy to find a butterfly background, I would have used it, cliches aside!

I have been wrestling with the question, "Do you really want to build a business?" And the best answers I can come up with are along the lines of I think so and I'm pretty sure. Not convincing.

I do want to write and edit.
I do want to empower women.
I do want to work in the arts.
I do want to influence community building.
I do want to help strengthen intergenerational bonds and see nations set free.
But how? Through business?

Wrestling.

Reading a wide range of blogs like these

• E-Myth
• MPowered Marketing
• Artists Who Thrive
  
• Theology and the Artistic Impulse
• A Holy Experience
• Small Tall Musings
• Rebekah Joy Plett
  

These are all blogs that touch on at least one of my interests: the arts, business, women. Occasionally I post comments on some of them. Even just the reading and pondering is a conversation, an internal dialogue.

Of course, I've been talking to Kathleen McMillan because, business or no business, we are developing a product line: www.openeyes.ca.

And I've got a new job as Bookstore Manager at Ambrose University College. It's half-time. I've been working full-time on reception for the summer, a wonderful way to get to know people in the institution. It's been such a relief to have work like this and I'm thrilled to be back in an academic context. But I'm also relieved to be done reception as of last Friday, to focus on the bookstore for 20 hours a week (give or take) and to catch up on other projects that languished in the past two months.

vocation

What is this unshakable sense of purpose—an unknown, yet compelling path I must walk, something that goes beyond a day job, beyond earning money? 

He says, “It’s okay to have a vocation.”

I say, “I don’t think we’re using the same definition. When I say vocation I mean calling. When you say vocation you mean occupation.”

He says, “That’s right. Now you mean what I mean.”

I snap, “No, I do not.”

My path is not something he ever imagined intersecting with his path, let alone running parallel. I know what my vocation has been. But what should it be from this point forward? We are both mystified and frustrated by the questions. Meantime, we both keep walking and wondering, praying and pondering. We keep talking.

And I sing and write. My blogs haven’t prove that lately, but I have been singing and writing. These tasks are at the heart of my calling.

I am a poetess

And one day I will take my place

Among the grandmothers and wise women

I am a poetess

Between the silences

I hear stories and find the words to speak.

Listen to “Poetess” here.

 

Last week I sang this song in Thursday’s main session at Write! Canada. The next morning (Friday) I led my colleagues in worship. The previous evening (Wednesday, left) I sang “Child of My Heart” at the Canadian Christian Writing Awards. And our MC, Herbie Kuhn (announcer for the Toronto Raptors), could hardly speak afterwards, said he had expected to feel a lot of emotions that evening, but had not expected to be moved to tears. As an adoptive father, he felt like he could have written many of those words. He nearly broke down weeping, had a hard time regaining control. A surprise. An honour. 

With dreams for this song—possibly God-given dreams—I spoke freely all week about my ideas to develop a resource package for crisis pregnancy centres to use in fundraising and education. Now it’s time for market research.

Two of the song’s biggest fans were in the audience: Kathleen and Hannah Busch. They are the original inspiration for the song’s title.Kathleen took Hannah into her home two years ago and was finally able to adopt her a few months ago. They played “Child of My Heart” at a special adoption blessing service in October. Hannah has the CD and often falls asleep listening to it. She knows all the words. They live in BC, but just happened to be traveling in Ontario last week. Co-incidence. Seems like a God-incidence to me.

I am a poetess—singer-songwriter, storyteller, writer, editor, someone who takes care of stories. I have come home from Write! Canada with a collection of stories gleaned from conversations. Let me begin to tell …

setting up systems

Conversation #1: Kathleen McMillan

We are at a crossroads with Open Eyes Books. What exactly is our relationship to one another and to the project/business? What systems do we need to put in place to establish the business solidly and ensure clarity and success as we move forward—especially before printing any more books. We talked about where Open Eyes Books sits on the E-Myth business cycle: http://www.e-myth.com/cs/user/print/post/the-small-business-cycle

Conversation #2: E-Myth Experience

Kathleen & I participated in a conference call today. Sure it was a bit of a sales pitch, but I felt it would be really important for Kathleen and I in getting on the same page, asking the same questions about pursuing this business and moving ahead.

Conversation #3: Bill Higgins

Bill is an E-Myth Program Advisor who contacted me yesterady, almost immediately after I had filled out a form to gain access to E-Myth’s resources page. Today we had another call, this one to chat with Kathleen and I together—and serendipitously with Kathleen’s husband who had come home because the power was out at his work.

We aren’t convinced that we should invest in this kind of coaching just yet, but it was, as I had hoped, helpful in giving us common language.

I plan to either borrow their key book from the library or buy it. Either way, I need to read it and I

Conversation #4: Mark Donnelly

A few weeks ago Mark and I met on Facebook through a discussion on someone else’s page. After some SSP (shameless self-promotion) both ways, Mark ordered a copy of BlueBeary online. Today he sent me this message:

Hi Colleen, the Bluebeary book came yesterday. Wow! The calligraphy and the note were an amazing touch! I don't think I've ever received any mail with lettering like that other than an occasional wedding invitation. And, both kids were engaged before I even started reading it (they loved the cover). The only problem is that they keep wanting me to count the blueberries on the cover. :) Dangit, who put so many?!? LOL

Anyway, just wanted to let you know we got it and we love it. Thanks!!

Mark

Of course it was Rebekah Joy Plett who put all those blueberries on the cover. There weren’t so many at first, but Rebekah realized that with less she had effectively beheaded the bear!

Silent No More – Women for Life International

CONVERSATION #1:

I have some ideas for the song Child of my Heart, besides singing at The Word Guild 2010 Writing Awards. But I can’t accomplish them alone. So, believing that at least some of these ideas are God-given idea, I’m starting to send out emails and make phone calls.

Today’s conversation was with Denise Mountenay. Denise is the founder and president of Canada Silent No More and co-founder/director of Women for Life International. We probably talked about 10 minutes, but there was a powerful connection. I followed with an email that details the song’s background and ideas for development.

Denise directed me to find these videos.

I had found Denise’s number on the Canada Silent No More site and called before knowing about her involvement with Women for Life International. In this we have a huge common interest. Last week I was given the May 4th, 2010 edition of The Economist and was saddened and emboldened by two stories: “The worldwide war on baby girls” (cover), and “Sobs on the night breeze” (review of Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love by Xinran).

‘The core of “Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother” is the individual stories of women who have lost their daughters. One would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by them.’

There is local work to be done. There is international work to be done. There is work to be done, but not in our own strength or by our own means.

Guide us, O Thou Great Jehovah, pilgrims through this barren land.

We are weak, but You are mighty, guide us with Your powerful hand …

Strong deliverer, strong deliverer,

Be Thou still my strength and shield;

Be Thou still my strength and shield.

CONVERSATION #2:

McKenzie Towne School hosted me several weeks ago and then hosted Kathleen and I more recently. They’re using BlueBeary books as a fundraiser for their library. I called and emailed to see where they’re at and how much longer they want to go.