#1. Stop crying

Today I met my new debt counselor: Tina the Accountess.

The first thing she did was hug me. Instantly I felt good about our meeting and all we had done was buy coffee!

The first thing I told her is that my first financial goal is to stop crying every time I talk about money. She smiled and assured me that this will come.

My second goal is actually two in tandem: establish a stable base income and get out of debt.

Third: continue building my business of empowering women in the arts, in which the primary project that drives the economic engine is the children’s books. In the meantime, to accomplish goal 2, I need a part-time job.

We had the most wonderful, helpful conversation ever and I came out relieved and energized on soooo many fronts. She told me more than once that she likes my website and that I have great potential. She proposed a barter, exchanging services: she'll help me financially if I help her write monthly newsletters, edit her blog, and breathe life into the copy on her new website. DEAL. That was easy.

She's giving me homework and I'm so excited to dig into it.

Tina is part of my new trio of business mentors, who I blogged about yesterday.

My biggest feelings at the end of the day include relief, joy, and courage. Thank you, Tina!

For the record: I had two other significant conversations today, with Anna in the morning and with Kevin in the evening. In saying good-bye to Anna I noted, “I should probably take Kleenex to my meeting with the Accountess.” Anna quipped, “If she works with women and money, she probably has Kleenex.” Sure enough, not only did Tina have tissue, she claims it as a business expense!

Mindset, Marketing & Money … and Mentors

I  have been longing for mentoring in business. I have mentors in the areas of spiritual life, education, writing, but need a stronger connection with women who understand business and know how to achieve work-life balance—contemporary Proverbs 31 women. I want mentors—even a whole community—who know when to protectively tuck me under her wing and when to swiftly kick me out of the nest.

I think I found them.

Today’s first major conversation involved a variety of women via a conference call to introduce a new training series by Kim Page Gluckie of MPowered Marketing, Stephanie Pollock of Inspired Coaching, and Tina Pratt of The Accountess.

The call and the website do a great job of introducing the series, so I won’t outline it here. What I will do is tell you how these ladies have helped me so far.

#1. When I moved to Calgary mid-November, my first goal was closer proximity to my boyfriend Kevin. The long distance relationship thing was killing us. Check. I found a room to rent just 5 minutes from him.

#2. My second (and overarching) goal was to clarify and establish my business in order to make a living. Check-ish. I’ve got lots of streams for generating revenue: books (Martha, BlueBeary) and CDs to sell, workshops to present, concerts to perform, and more.

But transition is never easy, especially with a car accident (Dec 6th), with unsuccessful attempts to find part-time work that supplement the self-employment. Stressful. Without good coverage on the bottom line, I would swing wildly between highly motivated to get bookings and sales or deeply depressed and exhausted from lifting a ton of feathers. Some days, if it wasn’t for chiropractic and massage appointments (thank you SGI) or going to see Kevin, I don’t know when I would have left the house! 

Enter Kim Page Gluckie.

Before moving to Calgary, I searched online for resources and events to help with Goal #2. I must have used search words like “women” and “entrepreneurs” and “calgary” and “se”. Somehow, MPowered Marketing surfaced. So I took Kim’s online survey and registered for her November 18th event: “Time & Money Are Limited Resources: Make marketing choices that save both!” That event energized me so much! I stayed to help Kim clean up and we had a good chat.

A few days later I went to Vancouver to work with Kathleen McMillan on BlueBeary and Open Eyes Books, eager to be serious about our business.

From Kim I learned about Stephanie Pollock, so took advantage of her free half-hour consultation, during which we especially talked about overcoming my “fear of the ask.”

From these ladies I’ve gleaned valuable Information through their blog posts and resource links on their websites.

Through Kim’s MPowered Marketing and Stephanie’s Inspired Coaching I’ve started developing community with other women/mom entrepreneurs through in-person contacts and social networking like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

The special guest at the December 16th workshop was Paula McGarrigle, author of A Baby Guide to Calgary. I just knew I should be there. Again, I was inspired, and we had opportunity to pitch our business & products. I also got a kick in the butt from Paula, who was impressed with BlueBeary and asked, “Are you in Monkey Shines?” (a local children’s bookstore). “No,” I said, “I’ve only been in the city for a month.” Paul replied, “That’s no excuse.” And she was right. BlueBeary was in Monkey Shines AND in Owl’s Nest by the end of the week.

And I got to meet Stephanie Pollock in person that night. I also got to meet Tina Pratt aka The Accountess. Score.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Tina to talk about finances. 

By Sunday midnight I will claim my $300 discount and register for one of the 7 Series …

Here we go!

still conversing

Conversation 1:

“Are you still doing the ‘2 Conversations’ blog? It’s a great goal.”

Rosie Perera asked this last week. Yes, I replied, I just got out of it. It’s a huge commitment, not just to have two conversations, but to report on them also. Well, here I am, listening to Brooke Fraser, a young lady who is certainly making a difference in the world. For example, her song/video Albertine.

But I digress. Brooke and I have not yet had a conversation—in person or via social media.

Rosie, on the other hand, is someone with whom I have been having interpersonal conversations for more than a decade. I was thinking that this picture from another friend’s Facebook page could be submitted as evidence, but realized that Rosie isn’t tagged. Hmmm. When did she come to Regent? Anyhow, I was there: the blonde in pink sweatshirt sitting directly in the front row.

So last week on Ash Wednesday, Rosie and I had a scheduled phone conversation. She’s doing important spiritual formation work during Lent, using this church year season as a transitional phase, working with a life coach with focus on purposefully living out a sense of vocation, which involves helping others learn to live well with technology. One means is writing, for example.

We talked about reclaiming sleep:

In vain you rise early
       and stay up late,
       toiling for food to eat—
       for he grants sleep to those he loves.

(Psalm 127:2)

We talked about good use of technology and I suggested that perhaps I should cut out non-essential internet use, especially internet game playing. “You won’t miss it,” noted Rosie. She did this one year. “I was free to go back to it after but had no desire anymore: that is so not nurturing of my person.”

Conversation 2:

I’ve been having lots of smaller conversations within a larger conversation about women and creativity leading up to a mini-conference in Calgary this weekend: www.siretona.com/beauty.html.

I had been longing for a gathering like this, but wasn’t sure where to host it. Then last Wednesday I was arranging to do presentations at Chateau Renoir Retirement Residence, and the Activity Director mentioned that they encourage community groups to use their spaces, which include 2 board rooms, a theatre room, and the lobby with grand piano. So, I immediately booked some space for a couple of events this Saturday, did up a poster, webpage and Facebook events and presto! Afternoon mini-conference (Creative Women: Blooming, Birthing & Beauty), dinner for the women, and an evening concert!

Ah, but who would come? I invited more than 300 women from my Facebook friends list. Not all of them live in or near Calgary, but I felt they should know about this.

Tonight Stacy called, excited about this event. After a half hour conversation, she prayed for me and I am now extremely curious to see what God has in store for the day.

Already, there are conversations with people in other locales about doing Creative Women there: Slave Lake, Medicine Hat, Caronport.

Hmmm …

new events, fundraisers

Conversation: Terri, counselor, email.

I’m going to BC at the end of March. So far I have two events confirmed on Vancouver Island: a church service and concert in Victoria on Sunday, March 28th, and a concert in Courtenay, BC on Friday the 26th. Both are fundraisers for houses that help women: Women’s Transition House of Victoria and Stepping Stones House for Women in Courtenay.I loooove making a difference with things like this!

For other events coming up, visit http://colleenanddara.com/schedule.html.

Conversation: Dale, dog breeder/adoptive mom/soon-to-be children’s author. Dale and I talked about when we can get together, how she can find time to write, and where to find the money to publish her first (and three following) children’s books about adoption.

why seek conversations

Loneliness can be a problem for entrepreneurs.

“A 2007 study by researchers at the University of Michigan even showed that just ten minutes of small talk improved study participants’ cognitive abilities.” (Blogtrepreneur, Feb 8, 2010).

One of the blessings in disguise that came from my December car accident: receiving regular chiropractic and massage treatments has forced me to get out of the house. It’s easy to get stuck and end up spinning my wheels. Today I got out to the chiropractor and had the nicest chat with his assistant. Came home energized and motivated to make a hard phone call which was frustrating and was anything BUT small talk.

Conversation: Last Thursday I had a Very Important Meeting. In many ways, it was like stepping into my own private Dragon’s Den. I had kind of hoped for this person to become a business mentor and/or an investor in the Open Eyes book series. I didn’t necessarily walk away with either one that day. He gave me valuable critique and challenge, a 79 page workbook for creating a business plan and an invitation to show it to him when I’m done.

Conversation: I love my family. My brother’s wedding in Strasbourg, SK was a wonderful reason to gather with family from both sides and thoroughly enjoy one another far too late into the night on both Friday and Saturday. Delightful. Most grateful to Kevin for driving—and for enjoying my family, too. 

Conversation: Kevin had a meeting tonight, so it was nice to stay home and have a visit with my landlady/roommate, to give perspective and encouragement for each other’s situations. We prayed together before she went to bed.

Conversation: Sue (the Accidental Poet/Housewife) and I have been invited to give workshops at the same conference in April. Neither of us has given a clear yes yet, but we’ve both been there before and would love to travel there together should we say yes. She called tonight to chat about that and to marvel at her experiences with being a significant person in the lives of several teens on the weekend. “Who is raising these children?” she asked. I marvel with her and thank God that she is who she is and where she is. 

C.S. Lewis said that we read to know we are not alone. However, basic email and social networking doesn’t do the trick. I am generally an introvert (much to most people’s surprise), who needs solitude to recharge. However, I also need fresh air, human interaction, and a reason to get up in the morning. Sometimes that reason is best if it’s extrinsic, outside myself: another’s voice, another’s need. I seek conversations to know that I am not alone.

Break … Forth/down/through

What is a breakthrough? In the midst of longing for one, I find myself often breaking down, like poor little Peter Rabbit.

“He found a door in a wall; but it was locked, and there was no room for a fat little rabbit to squeeze underneath.

“An old mouse was running in and out over the stone doorstep, carrying peas and beans to her family in the wood. Peter asked her the way to the gate, but she had such a large pea in her mouth that she could not answer. She only shook her head at him. Peter began to cry.”

I took a few days off. First for Break Forth, which was amazing. Then for wallowing in self-pity.

Self-pity? Where did that come from? I don’t know, but it was two days in a paralyzing pit of filth. I had conversations. I could have reported my quota filled, but wallowed instead. It happens. Apparently not as often when one’s gratitude discipline is intact:

“The study required several hundred people in three different groups to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day, while the second group recorded their unpleasant experiences. The last group made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another.”  (source; found at this blog)

The crazy thing is that all my wallowing and paralysis was catalyzed a simple misunderstanding on Sunday afternoon!

No, that’s not entirely true. I spent the weekend with friends from Strasbourg Alliance Church and the first two days were exhillarating—being reunited with these friends and others, running into all kinds of people I hadn’t expected to see. But on Sunday, that little misperception cracked the dam and I cried like a baby. I think I was feeling homesick for Strasbourg, for relationships that are not still brand new. Sigh. Fortunately, the misunderstanding got cleared up yesterday, leaving me feeling a bit sheepish.

So here’s a list of conversations I was grateful to have over the weekend and since—conversations both about work and private life, about God and prayer, conversations with God in prayer …

• Glenda
• Heather
• Mark
• Gerald
• Brad
• Lori
• Nancy
• Margie
• Barb
• Beth
• Darryl
• Leonard
• Gayle
• Roxanne
• Blake
• Jen
• Josh
• Curtis
• more …

On Monday, I was sluggish, like I’d been hit by the proverbial truck. Even so, the day was not a write-off as I interacted with Cathy my SGI car insurance adjuster, Calvin who gave me a quote on a printing job, Mom about the upcoming wedding weekend for my brother, and Joyce about spiritual direction.

On Tuesday, I had more interaction with Cathy, Calvin & Mom.

Also on Tuesday, I had a real telephone conversation with Kathleen (she called me) in which I told her all my woes and she listened and prayed, then exhorted me from Beatrix Potter:   “When Peter Rabbit was caught in the net in the garden, the little birds came and ‘implored him to exert himself.’”

We both agreed to exert ourselves and made a plan for doing so. By the end of the day, in addition to tutoring and watching the movie “Amazing Grace” with Kevin and Stephanie, I had accomplished these things.

Oh! And I received two Minus 40 Tour DVDs in the mail from Ray Lacusta! The 14m30s documentary aired twice last week in an episode of “15 Minutes of Fame” on SCN television (Saskatchewan Community Network) and eventually will be available to watch online (season 4, episode 21 or 22). So I watched it once myself then again with Kevin & Stephanie. Strange and wonderful to seeing oneself on screen like that. Ray did a nice job.

Today (Wednesday)

• made a phone call to book a very important meeting for tomorrow afternoon.
• made another phone call to my mother.
• received a curriculum vitae and dissertation abstract from one friend to pass on by way of introduction to another friend
• received invitation to compose a soundtrack for a television documentary
• and more …

Kevin & Steph & I went to Okotoks for kids club at the church and we were so silly on the way home. It felt good to laugh and made me look forward to traveling to Saskatchewan together this weekend.

I have so much to be grateful for. There has not been a dramatic breakthrough (yet?), but there have been many ordinary and even extraordinary graces. I will keep putting one step in front of the other (literally and figuratively), moving through life attentive and grateful for the little things.