my bouquet

I didn't throw my bouquet at the wedding.

I didn't realize that I wasn't going to until the MC (my brother) announced it: "Now Colleen is going to throw the bouquet."

Surprised, I said, "I am?"

Instead of throwing it, I went to the podium and made a speech, completely impromptu, about how humiliating that practice has been for me and for so many other single women and how my friend Crystal gave red roses to all the single women at her wedding and how I wished I had done something like that.

I talked them about the book I received this fall, Redeeming Singleness, in which the author says that the Christian life is not about being single or married but being in Christ. So I wanted to bless everybody in the room, married or single, and pray that they would know themselves "in Christ."

It will be interesting to watch that on video ... :)

It was a gorgeous bouquet, crafted by my friend Carol. I hung it to dry beside Kevin’s boutonniere at the log cabin where we stayed on our honeymoon, then forgot it when we left. I wonder if they’ve saved it for me …

 

my new partner

Meet Kevin McCubbin. Construction manager, deep thinker, lover of God.

I married him last week.

Already we are planning projects: renos (i.e. home makeover!), teaching series, business planning workbook, my step-daughter’s birthday party …

Feels very natural to be his wife. We did a lot of the hard relational work beforehand. It was worth it.

Here are a few more pictures for you to view at AH Photography on Facebook. Enjoy!

high alert, i.e., “a lot of paranoia”

 

My poor friend Crystal got interrogated 3 times at Canada Customs & Immigration last night! Traveling alone with her baby, 3 separate officials grilled her about whether this really was her child and whether she really was allowed to travel alone with the baby, since she lacked that sort of documentation from her husband.

The 2nd official called Crystal's house in China! Even though he believed Crystal, he didn't give her anything saying she had passed his checkpoint, and the 3rd guy was worse than the other two put together. After questioning her to the point of tears, he made her wait while he took her passports and came out to find me and ask me all about her. I was sitting down when he came through the doors and I just had a feeling he was looking for me. I freely told him everything I could think of about Crystal. He esp. wanted to know about her marital and family status: "Is she still married to Jim? Where is he right now?" I told about each of their four children, ending with, "And then they had K this summer, obviously." (This morning I smiled wryly at my use of the word "obviously." No, it wasn’t obvious to him at all!)

In the midst of all that, Crystal forgot to claim her car seat, so we had to go back to Customs. Fortunately, the lovely official who came to the door let me go in for the car seat instead of Crystal. Officer Christine was very sweet about the whole ordeal, explaining that security checkpoints are on high alert for family abductions during the holidays. It’s such a big issue, that the Government of Canada provides a 19-page resource: International Child Abductions: A Manual for Parents. Traveling from China to Canada via the USA, poor Crystal apparently seemed suspicious and got caught in what her second questioner called "a lot of paranoia."

If only someone had communicated clearly somewhere along the line that travelers should carry proof of permission! Crystal has traveled so much with her other children—even alone with some of them as babies—and has never encountered any problems like this. Being in a healthy marriage Sometimes systems can be way too efficient!

Anyway, she's here now and we have already had such "a good giggle" as Prince William would say. Looking forward to more giggles and more friends arriving today.

let the in-gathering begin

People are coming from far and wide.

Crystal is arriving tonight … all the way from China. About 7 years ago I rode a Greyhound bus from Moose Jaw to Boise, Idaho (via Salt Lake City) for her wedding. She is making a similarly long and arduous journey for me, also via Salt Lake City! But she’s bringing a 6 month old baby.

Chelle is coming from Seattle. She might be in Alberta already – I’m not sure.

Sherry is coming from Vancouver tomorrow.

My in-laws joke about half of Saskatchewan coming for the wedding!

Tomorrow evening, my cousin Brandi is throwing a shower for me. I look forward to this special time of gathering in the company of women to bless and encourage me just two nights before I enter the bridal chamber.

Thank you.

mortification of the flesh

I’m feeling a bit dizzied by all the wedding details yet to be accomplished. That and the sobering magnitude of the commitment we’re about to make!

Mike Mason expresses my wariness: “There were many times when I felt quite seriously that everything my life had stood for was being challenged, or that somehow I had been tricked into selling my very soul for the sake of a woman’s love! In short, there was a lot at stake as the wedding day approached; in fact there was everything at stake.”

I do not feel tricked or hoodwinked. I feel painfully aware of the impending commitment: welcoming it, yet reverently fearing it at the same time. Kevin and I are about to embark on a transformational journey from which there is no return. I tire of leaving him at the end of our days together. By the end of the week I won’t be able to get rid of him. We’ll be (willingly) cooped up together in a log cabin with coffee, popcorn, movies, books, and plenty of taxidermy! We’ll be learning about each other in new ways, very vulnerable ways. And we will be changed, “as iron sharpens iron.” Kevin says marriage involves “mortification of the flesh.” Doesn’t sound pretty, does it? Perhaps it’s fitting that we will share a cabin with stuffed wild animals: the heads of 3 big-horn sheep rams, 2 caribou, and one complete cougar shot by our hosts’ son. Mortification, indeed.

Oh, I know that marriage is not all grim. In fact, I know many people for whom marriage is absolute joy and endless delight. And they’re not living in denial either! However, even they have their moments of rubbing the rough edges off each other.

I have a lot of things to do, so I’ll direct you to more of Mike Mason’s reflections:

But how hard it is to give everything! Indeed it is impossible. One can make a symbolic gesture of giving all, accompanied by a grand dramatic public statement to that effect (which is what happens at the wedding ceremony). But this is just a start. The wedding is merely the beginning of a lifelong process of handing over absolutely everything, and not simply everything that one owns but everything that one is.

Read more …

Actually, let’s end with Philippians 2:1-11.

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
   to the glory of God the Father.

sweet sardines

Youth group. Leader announces “a friendly game of Sardines” and reviews the rules.

The girl who is almost my step-daughter and almost 12 bounces over: “Come on, Colleen!” 

I reply, “I don’t feel well.” (Truly I didn’t.)

Shoulders sag in disappointment, but she bounces back to her friends.

Suddenly I think it best to exert myself, so stand and join them. She’s thrilled.

Together we search the darkened church sanctuary. I am the first to find the hider.

I gesture and whisper the secret to my almost-step-daughter and crawl under the row. The girl follows. 

More youths follow. My elbow is jumped on—all part of the fun!

Several girls leave the hiding spot, presumably to act as decoys (and wear off energy).

Almost-step-daughter stays, inches closer and pokes me, as she is wont to do.

I poke back. Our fingers play a bit, then settle in. We lay quietly linked until the game ends.

Who knew Sardines could be so sweet?

p.s. Because I found the hider first, I was “it” for the next round. Wedged behind a Christmas tree, I overheard almost-step-daughter explain, “She’s marrying my dad.” :)

p.p.s. It’s been fun to invite kids to our wedding. Surprising how many have never been to one. 

know your numbers

• 1 cup of water, first thing in the morning, then 3 cups of coffee, and I still didn’t feel woken until about 1 pm.
• 1010 AM and 1140 AM: radio stations of choice (though neither got much airtime from me today).
• 4 hours of web development. We’re getting closer to ready to launch: www.northernlakeshealthcommittee.ca.
• 3 hours in the bookstore.
• 1600 lbs of books delivered by Purolator from Foundation Distributing, shrink-wrapped on its own skid, mostly Eerdmans publications because there was a stupendous sale.
• 10ish other boxes from various other book distributors.
• 6 new online RSVPs confirming 20 more guests at our wedding.
• 3 music students.
• $25 “free” gift card from Co-op for buying $100+ in groceries.

• 2 plates of spaghetti and meat sauce for K & me.
• 2 hours of sitting on the couch and talking.
• 24 days until our wedding.

What are some of your numbers?