2 Conversations

fear of success: a matter of scale

2011-05-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

In dialoguing with a colleague in an online forum, she noted her fear of success. With some trepidation (another form of fear!), I offered my thoughts and asked if they made sense. She said they did make sense and added "It's totally the kind of 'authorization' I needed." It was a good reminder for myself. Perhaps you would appreciate it, too:

-------------------------------------

A few years ago I attended some workshops about music business, and one presenter (Steve Bell) told the audience, "We encourage artists to stay out of the music industry." He explained that his company encourages artists to make the world more beautiful and to understand the place of their work in the world: is it personal? local? regional? national? international? Where does it fit?

He also advises artists think of their work as a "sustainable" business rather than trying to make it big. Not everyone needs to have big international or national success, but they can have important local or regional impact and still make a living.

So perhaps part of your decision will be scale: How big do you really want or need to be? I know it's really popular to talk about abundance in business — to dream big. I'm one of the biggest dreamers I know! But I'm starting to appreciate the importance of being realistic about the limitations of our lives: health, mental illness, family commitments, etc. So we need to define our bottom line: How much is "enough"? How much is "too much"? Can I sustain this? By what means will I sustain this?

Perhaps you will need at least two more things:

•developing enough material/products in advance with a delivery system that can manage itself when you have a difficult season
•gathering supporters who can help manage your business when you have difficult seasons (e.g. bookkeeper, virtual assistant, distributor, etc.)

-------------------------------------------

Does this make sense to you? What scale do you envision for your enterprise? How will you sustain it?

so many conversations!

2011-04-13T08:51:00.001-07:00

Really? Two weeks since my last post? I’ve been having so many conversations, often thinking, “I should blog about this,” but it’s been too much fun conversing to write about them! Here’s a list of some of them, not necessarily in chronological order:

Carrie Catherine. We’ve been emailing about organizing a concert for her in the Calgary area and chatting about her song “Sunshine Baby” and a lullaby my mom used to sing, “Good Morning, Merry Sunshine.” I blogged about the songs here.
Barbara Howe & her friend Yvette. Several months ago when I met Barbara, she immediately felt like a kindred spirit. Her book, Forgotten Voices, was uncannily parallel with my own research in women’s history. I suggested designing a website for her book, . She loved the idea. A few weeks ago on March 29th, I hosted an author night through Ambrose Bookstore, and Barb was on the roster. Delightful evening. She brought Yvette, of course, along with several others. On Monday, Barb & Yvette & I met for lunch and visited for over three hours! Discovered a neat connection to Yvette: a few weeks ago Kevin & I bought some filing cabinets from a guy who advertised on Kijiji. Barbara was telling me about Yvette’s husband, and the details sounded exactly like the Kijiji guy, who turned out to be Yvette’s husband!!! The world is not just small, it’s tiny!

On April 1st, I set up a booth for Ambrose Bookstore at a Christian Trade Show and met all kinds of inspiring people. I shared the booth with Work of Your Hand, whose fairly traded products we carry in the store.
The following Saturday, I met my friend and fellow creative lady, Brenda Hemphill, at the Women 2 Women Expo where we visited the interesting booths, sampled food and fragrances and more, bought Gems of Gluten Free Baking, then sat down to plan for a creative women conference, similar to the one I hosted last year.
Somewhere in there I had a phone conversation with Rosie, who blogs at Iambic Admonit and Space for God – Photo Blog. (You’ll notice that the photo blog features a picture of a mommy reading BlueBeary to her little boy!)

I’m sure there are lots more, but that’s a snapshot for now.

What is creativity? (part 2)

2011-03-31T10:33:00.001-07:00

What is creativity? (part 2) is available on my other blog, Siretona Creative.

That’s where the first post was supposed to go! What is creativity? (part 1)

Identity (part 2): person or brand?

2011-03-31T10:23:00.001-07:00

I bought the March/April issue of Writer’s Digest to get Christina Katz’s article “50 Simple Ways to Build Your Platform in 5 Minutes a Day.” This gem comes with other treasures, including an interview with Emma Donoghue, author of bestseller Room.

A theme of identity stood out to me in their pieces.

Katz advises writers, “Be Yourself. Advice that tells authors to act like brands encourages us to forget to act like regular people. But social media is made for people, not robots. The fact that you’re a writer and a parent or an uncle and a Packers fan or a vegetarian makes you interesting. Your readers and fans want you to be personable, not a one-topic ever-plugging broken record. Spend five minutes making a profile more you” (p. 43).

Writer’s Digest asks Donoghue, “In a publishing climate where writers are often advised to develop one niche, you’re quite diverse. Is that something you consciously strive for?”

Donoghue replies,

“You know, maybe I’m lucky nobody ever told me that. I know what you mean, in terms of marketing and making a brand of yourself. It would be logical to develop one niche. But I’ve always had a very good agent who’s always emphasized the sure interest of each book or play. She’s never approached my work with that hard-boiled, Will this appeal to your previous readership? attitude. I know my publishers are occasionally a bit bemused by, you know, what am I going to throw at them next, but nobody’s ever said, “Oh Emma, you have to give us more of the same thing” (pp. 37-38).

It’s not just a publishing climate, it’s a business climate, even a social climate. E-Myth talks about it. My colleagues talk[ed] about it at Ambrose and Briercrest. Stephanie Pollock exhorts that business and life are not separate and guides women through a clarification process for it.* Christina Katz rejects it for writers:

Now some people like to substitute the word "branding" for identity, but I'm not partial to the former. Are you a writer or a pharmaceutical company? Are you a writer or a can of soda? Are you a writer...you get the idea. Be who YOU are and spread the word in a professional manner. This takes more thought than you might expect because it's part of the story that precedes you, goes with you, and lingers behind you, everywhere you go. For more on this topic, start reading on page 175 and don't stop until you figure out your Otherwise Known As.

There’s a place for branding, but let’s heed fair warning that brand building can de-personalize. Some people’s names are synonymous with their brand: Rachael Ray, Oprah Winfrey, and Steven Covey are three who immediately come to mind. It’s common, but what’s the net effect? I don’t have a lot of answers, but I do have a healthy wariness.

Who are you? Do you distinguish person from brand? Why or why not? How?

*Note: I like Steph Pollock and just signed up for one of her courses. I might filter some of her branding messages, though.

Identity (part 1): grieving losses and change

What is creativity? (part 1)

2011-03-24T08:47:00.001-07:00

Often when people tell me they are not creative, I tell them, “Creativity is the ability to use other people’s ideas well.” The idea came from a college textbook that made a strong impression on me two decades ago: Creative Teaching Methods by Marlene LeFever.

My sister is getting married next month and because I live far away from her, I’m compiling a cookbook using The Great Family Cookbook Project. It’s fun to read the submissions & sending out little inspirational notes to the [would-be] contributors.

My next note will suggest the contributors don’t need to be original and will encourage them to share favourites from other sources. For example, one woman added “Angel Biscuits” and included her source: Company’s Coming Muffins and More. I need to include “Blender Hollandaise Sauce” from The Joy of Cooking—so easy and so scrumptious on asparagus or eggs benedict.

I found Creative Teaching Methods on Google Books (of course). In searching for the quotation above (if it IS a direct quote), I have discovered other gems, like this one:

Creativity has become a feminine word. Women are usually thought of as being more creative than men, more at ease sharing their emotions through drama, song and teaching. … “Of course not,” we say, but our attitudes don’t always back up our words.

Look a little deeper. Most creative people are both sensitive and independent. In our society sensitivity is a female characteristic, and independence is considered a masculine characteristic. (p. 37)

LeFever goes on to show that creativity is NOT just the domain of women. That’s good, because I know a lot of creative men: my brother Jeffrey (an insanely talented potter-photographer-videographer-painter-musician), my friend Grant (carver; wordsmith), the illustrious Robert Genn, my husband, etc., etc.

The problem is connotations in meaning. When most North Americans hear “feminine,” we tend to think female. The French would never make that mistake. Or when we hear feminine in relation to men, we tend to think effeminate and/or gay. True, some creative men are effeminate and/or gay, but lots of men (like the ones listed above) are not. It’s too easy to make false equivocations.

So technically, I have no problem with saying that creativity tends to be a feminine quality: not female, not effeminate, not gay, not limited to women. And I’m comfortable saying that independence is a masculine quality, but not male or beefy or limited to women. Of course, to say creativity is feminine implies softness, which is kind of true (think intuition), but it certainly requires discipline (more later), which has a masculine denotation. But creativity is NOT chiefly a womanly thing.

Do you agree or disagree? Why?

project management

2011-03-21T10:54:00.001-07:00

My husband took a project management course on the weekend. It has led to some important conversations that will affect business and our personal lives.

First: personal. Kevin’s group used our home renovations as a case study. We’re going to have a family meeting about it tomorrow with all of the key stakeholders: his daughter, his cousin, himself, and me.

Second: business. Kevin has suggested that I take advantage of what he’s been learning to develop and strategize in my own business. He’s brilliant. I’m looking forward to that.

I’m also looking forward to lunch with him in a few minutes!

homesteading & camping out

2011-03-17T17:13:00.001-07:00

Since this blog is called 2 conversations, I should tell you about a couple of actual conversations.

Don't you love it when something that's already on your "to do" list suddenly gets accomplished and you didn't actually have to take the initiative? And isn’t it a nice surprise when you usually don’t answer 800 numbers, but sometimes when you do That's what happened this morning: my list told me to call Homestead/Intuit about setting up a storefront ... then THEY called ME!

It was just a routine customer service call to see how things were going and if I like their service. Like it? I love it! I’ve designed quite a few sites with their easy drag-and-drop SiteBuilder technology (see list below).

I had the loveliest chat with Amy. She was most helpful and knowledgeable. We immediately emailed back and forth a bit on some of my questions. I have a feeling we’re going to have a fruitful relationship, possibly both ways, since she was quite interested in my children’s book publishing.

We’re renovating the bachelor pad. We’ve been talking about it for months. I hear it’s really good for a marriage. Not stressful at all, except maybe conversations about what to do with a front entry and whether or not to knock out walls and door frames. :)

I’ve been hovering in “camping out” mode with papers and filing and boxes and projects, waiting for the day when we’ve set up the basic infrastructure (i.e. flooring and desk) before settling in. As a partially self-employed person who works from home, it’s hard to be camping out for so long, especially after five years of nomadic life, with most of my household effects in storage! When we got married on December 30th, I thought we might start by the end of January or mid February. Of course not. Everyone says renos always take at least twice as long as you expect.

But just when I think my husband isn’t thinking about renos, he surprises me by saying he’s called someone: a painter, a carpenter, a plumber, a supplier. He bids on leftovers and demos from his employer: light fixtures, baseboards, a brand new frontloading washer/dryer set. And today I welcomed a flooring expert to measure our house. It’s really happening now! We’ll replacing everything on the main floor with new tile and laminate (and maybe a bit of carpet). It will be so refreshing.

Of course I’m dreaming about window treatments and slipcovers and more!

Websites I’ve built on the Homestead/Intuit platform:

Personal projects:

My main site: www.siretona.com (being renovated, kind of like my house…)
Children’s book publishing: www.openeyes.ca
Humour about going “over the hill”: www.marthamorgan.ca
Music: www.colleenanddara.com

A few other clients:

gardens

2011-03-16T08:03:00.001-07:00

I’ve been thinking about gardens, growth, hospitality, and attracting butterflies.

Occasionally I have grown potted plants with success.

A few years ago I tried a garden plot, with VERY small success: a few handfuls of beans and peas and 3 or 4 cabbages. Maybe one or two cobs of corn: I don’t remember. I didn’t know what I was doing. And I lived too far away from my garden (several km) to nurture it well.

This year, in a new home, I plan to try again. The back yard is small, but it’s handy and it neighbours a playground. I dream of planting sweet peas and sunflowers against the chain link fence to create a bit more privacy for us and beauty for passers-by. I dream of a couple beds of vegetables, and of still having room for a sitting area around a small fire. Perhaps it will never be as verdant as the garden pictured above, but it can be cozy and it can be mine.

My husband doubts the execution, but he humored me and bought seed packets: sunflowers, sweet peas, and a mix called “butterfly garden.” Butterflies, like bees, are important for the pollination and propagation of plant life. Flowers, thus, are not merely beautiful: they attract synergistic relationships.

I hope, through nesting into my new home and my garden, to draw butterflies, grow vegetation, and nurture relationships—to find sympathies and synergies. I hope to draw literal butterflies and metaphorical butterflies*: women (and men) who are emerging, discovering who God has created and intended them to be.

*Apparently Wendell Berry was careful about the use of metaphor: “When a metaphor is construed as an equation, it is out of control; when it is construed as an identity, it is preposterous.” (source: Twitter @DailyWendell). As much as I admire Mr. Berry, I don’t mind if my use of butterflies and gardening as metaphor transgresses his perspective a bit.

transformation

2011-03-15T08:33:00.001-07:00

I’ve been thinking about the life-span of butterflies.

I’ve been thinking about metamorphosis, process that transforms an egg into a caterpillar or worm (something squishy, maybe fuzzy or slimy) into a cocooned chrysalis into a fragile, gossamer- or dusty-winged creature.

Did you know that not all chrysalides are completely helpless?

“Like other types of pupae, the chrysalis stage in most butterflies is one in which there is little movement. However, some butterfly pupae are capable of moving the abdominal segments to produce sounds or to scare away potential predators.”

Waiting brings helplessness. The instinct to divert perceived predators is natural and right.

I’ve been thinking about the lives of women and butterflies.

Men, too. But women in particular, and how so much of our lives consist in waiting.

Sure there is some truth in saying we have choices, yet we can’t pursue everything.

Sometimes even the gentlest force is too much, shortcutting a process and crippling the result.

Sometimes we just have to wait and pray, like living in a cocoon, and wait for the day when we emerge: fragile, gossamer, gorgeous new creatures.

That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

~ Romans 8:18-30, The Message

mixing ministry and business

2011-03-03T21:42:00.001-08:00

Today I enjoyed working at home: listened to a webinar for Siretona business, set up a cookbook project as a remote wedding shower for my sister, did some cleaning to serve my household, and replaced our mismatched Corelle dishes with the pottery my brother made for our wedding. I used another wedding gift, our slow cooker, to make one of my favourite recipes: Boston Baked Beans (recipe below). The sauce was so deliciously compelling, that I ate too much of it before Kevin got home!

Over supper we discussed and critiqued the webinar I had heard. It was the second in a three-part series on ministry entrepreneurship. In the first webinar, I was concerned when the presenter said that Christians don’t need more Bible study, we just need to put what we know into practice. True, we need to practice what we profess, but saying we don’t need more Bible study is like saying we can train for and run a marathon without eating! It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

A bit skeptical, I approached the second webinar and was even more concerned with the presenter’s officious and pedantic style. He dismisses “aggregates” (organizers and leaders of groups) as roadblocks to ministers who must “posture to persuade the gatekeepers” to let them in. Then he says “the secret is to become your own aggregator.” Several times he does this: dismisses a category or term in one area only to re-appropriate it for his purposes later. He also implies that a “ministry entrepreneur” must “become a powerhouse” in order to build a niche following or aggregate (aka “Ministry Family”) in order to found a sustainable ministry. Though meaningful ministry is the goal, it is not located in the context of the church—in fact, it seems to happen in spite of or even against the church. Though he talks about building relationships and giving ministry, the whole model comes across as dehumanizing, blatantly individualistic, and self-seeking. He defines ministry as sharing ME. Apparently, I am God’s gift to the world and all I need to do is unwrap the gift and open myself up.

We can proof text the Bible to support this model. The presenter uses Matthew 13, the parable of the pearl of great price, to show that we have He doesn’t use 2 Corinthians 4:7 (which would have been more obvious): “We have this treasure in jars of clay.” Perhaps he avoids this one because of context: the our treasure is not to become our own powerhouse, employ failsafe entrepreneurial strategies, but rather “to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” The surrounding chapters, 2 Corinthians 3-5, are all about suffering and being reconciled to God through Christ. Paul and his companions are very aware of calling people to follow Christ, not “galvanizing people” to themselves. We can couch our business models in religious term, but what are we doing? Justifying our own wisdom, rather than really grappling with and following the call of God. Of course, there’s no suggestion that in unwrapping and opening myself I might find a Pandora’s box of sin along with ministry gifts.

¹⁶ So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Notice who does the work: GOD does it through Christ. Even in verse 20, we are Christ’s ambassadors “as though God were making his appeal through us.” In every case we get eclipsed by the one we serve.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boston Baked Beans
(from Company's Coming - Slow Cooker Recipes, pg.22)

I doubled this recipe for our large slow cooker. In consideration of my husband, I omitted the onions and added a package of bacon. I cut the bacon into small pieces and pre-cooked it (as advised by Rachael Ray) and added it in the second step. In hindsight, I would use a thicker back bacon for a heartier effect.

2¼ cups (560 ml) Dried navy beans (or peas), 1 lb. (454g)
1½ cups (375 ml) Chopped onion
5 cups (1.25 l) Water

Combine beans, onion and water 3 1/2 quart (3.5 l) slow cooker. Stir.
Cover. Cook on Low for 8 to 10 hours or on High for 4 to 5 hours.

½ cup (125 ml)      Ketchup
1/3 cup (75 ml) Molasses (not blackstrap)
1/3 cup (75 ml) Brown sugar, packed
1 tsp. (5 ml)     Dry mustard
1 tsp. (5 ml)     Salt
1/4 tsp (1 ml)    Pepper

1 pkg thick back bacon or salt pork

Add remaining 6 ingredients. Stir well. Cover. Cook on High for about
30 minutes to blend flavours. Makes 6 cups (1.5 L).

Nutritional information: 1/2 cup (125 mL): 195 Calories; 0.6 g Total Fat; 380 mg Sodium; 9 g Protein; 40 g Carbohydrate;
good source of Dietary Fibre.

PHOTO: Pottery by Jeffrey Taylor of Newschool Arts

Technorati Tags: household economy,business & ministry

the grocery bill

2011-02-28T15:58:00.001-08:00

There’s often a correlation between business finances and personal finances, especially for the self-employed and in the early days of a start-up. Getting married has been a good thing for my finances, clarifying categories, controlling spending, and killing debt. So far my husband and I are laying a good foundation for communicating about money, with monthly reviews of our budget and periodic check-ins. Unfortunately, it appears we completely underestimated our grocery budget! We have a lot to learn about planning meals and shopping for food.

Enter Erin Ortlund and her recent blog series about saving money on groceries and other household expenses. Post #1, “Know your prices,” comforts me: learning to shop for a family takes time. We’re not “rolling in the dough,” but we’re not destitute either, so we’ve got some room to play in our food budget.

The good news is, getting married has drastically reduced our spending on entertainment and eating out. Tonight we’re storm-stayed by a blizzard, so we’ll enjoy a homemade meatless meal (tofu stirfry with rice noodles), followed by my husband’s gourmet popcorn (real butter, parmesan & asiago cheese) and a movie rented with a Blockbuster gift card. Cosy.

being a business woman

2011-02-12T14:59:00.001-08:00

Learning never ends. In spite of having many leadership positions for a couple of decades, my business development is quite fledgling. I have dabbled in direct selling and network marketing and have dipped into self-employment, but in spite of this, I have been more like a hobbyist than a true business woman.

Enter the job of managing a bookstore, a bonafide business where I am getting a crash course in the financial and record-keeping side of things and it really, really matters what I know and what I do and how. I have done good things for the bookstore at Ambrose University College (e.g. improved layout, refined processes, new customer reward program), but if I want to do better I need some professional development.

My boss and I have been talking about training options. Recently, I attended an information night at Mount Royal University for their Small Business Certificate. Students can take individual courses or the complete program. I would love to take the whole thing, but cannot right now. Turns out Brendan (my boss) has the BA in Small Business and Entrepreneurship from Mount Royal, and we have lots of business and finance textbooks in our store, so I proposed an independent study program where I read and write reports and then we discuss what I’ve learned. We start with a hefty tome called Financial Accounting — a little light reading.

Not only will my new knowledge and skills bring increased success in the bookstore, it will influence my ability to develop Siretona Creative and to coach other women who want to be more than hobbyists. Like Kathleen McMillan who wrote this in her Christmas letter:

I continue to work on marketing and writing my children’s book series. I have learned so much this year including that I quite like being a business woman. It will be no surprise to anyone who knows creative people that I hate anything financial but I am looking forward to getting help and learning more about that from a friend* this year.

Last week Kathleen came to Calgary for a couple of days. She gave presentations at McKenzie Towne School on Wednesday, and we spent Thursday morning having a business meeting. We also both purchased a book from Ambrose Bookstore called Building a Dream: A Canadian Guide to Starting Your Own Business. It’s a workbook and it’s Canadian, so helpful on a number of levels in developing our businesses, Siretona Creative and Open Eyes Books.

*Note: this friend is an accountant Kathleen met and worked with on a preschool fundraiser.

living the housewifely dream

2011-02-01T09:28:00.001-08:00

On Saturday morning we slept in. Then, while Kevin prepared to teach our Bible study,

I launched into being the good little housewife.

I prepared breakfast.

I washed dishes.

I cleaned the bathroom.

I prepared a grocery list.

I swept the floor.

I mopped the floor.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, I started to feel underappreciated.

I didn’t want to be doing housework.

I wanted to be studying, too. I have entrepreneurial desires and some new business books and wanted to launch into those.

My insides felt grumbly.

In addition to cleaning, I was overseeing my step-daughter in studying, then cleaning her room, then editing pictures of herself and her friends from our wedding on my computer. My husband was occasionally reading aloud to me, trying to involve me in his interests. He was sweet and eager, but I was distracted and disgruntled. “You study so much!” I complained.

Somewhere along the hours—perhaps during my pause to shower—I realized a few things:

1. I am living my dream—one of them anyhow. Long have I dreamed of having a husband and family to live with and care for. So house cleaning is part of that dream. Other dreams must wait their turn—or even be released. I knew that and wrestled with it before I married, but knowing something and living it are quite different.

2. My husband has been a single-parent for many years and he has also waited a long time for a wife. Early in our courtship we read His Needs, Her Needs and he admitted a high need for domestic support. He is an able cook and wants to be on the roster for making meals, but dishes, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, laundry, etc., defeat him. He is relieved to give those tasks over to his wife. I have had a couple of decades to study: a bachelor’s degree, two masters degrees, a certificate in teaching English as a foreign language, many years of working in education. He is self-taught and I think he’s brilliant. He would love to go to school: that’s one of the first things he admired about me when we started corresponding. He’s an excellent worker and provider. Why would I begrudge him time to study? It’s his turn.

3. I am just selfish. Kevin often says “marriage is mortification of the flesh.” For sure, I am being mortified!

Wretched [wo]man that I am! Who will deliver me fromthis body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (Romans 7:24-8:1)

There is something freeing in being able to admit that I am weak, imperfect, and downright sinful. And there is relief in realizing that I can’t actually live up to the law of love, yet I don’t have to stay stuck in my own mess: first Christ Jesus releases me from the guilt, and secondly his Spirit enables me to change.

Even so, the overwhelm continued. Grocery shopping was discouraging as I piled list-items into the cart. We’d had a family meeting in the afternoon and Kevin had tasked me with stocking up on staples he is accustomed to, especially canned beans. My step-daughter had chosen a couple of slow-cooker recipes, so we needed ingredients for those. Even though I didn’t buy anything off list, watching the total cost get higher and higher at the check-out stand made me want to cry! Fortunately, my husband was not only gracious but congratulatory as he helped me put away the groceries.

Have I mentioned that I love him? And love involves submission and service. It’s not just about my dreams or his dreams, but our dreams. Kevin loved his study, but it was not self-indulgent, it was preparation to serve other people from our church community through teaching. Kevin takes his responsibilities as elder very seriously. Why would I not support him in that?

Not only does domestic support fill Kevin’s love-tank, it’s a physical reprieve as well: an old work injury limits his ability to do manual labour. I should be happy to take care of the things I can do, to save his physical resources for things that I can’t, like car repairs. Sure, we look fairly traditional already, and it works. We are tag teaming and figuring out how to be the best team we can be, by the grace & help of God.

Of course, it helped to reconnect and converse in bed at night. :)

my bouquet

2011-01-28T01:04:00.001-08:00

I didn't throw my bouquet at the wedding.

I didn't realize that I wasn't going to until the MC (my brother) announced it: "Now Colleen is going to throw the bouquet."

Surprised, I said, "I am?"

Instead of throwing it, I went to the podium and made a speech, completely impromptu, about how humiliating that practice has been for me and for so many other single women and how my friend Crystal gave red roses to all the single women at her wedding and how I wished I had done something like that.

I talked them about the book I received this fall, Redeeming Singleness, in which the author says that the Christian life is not about being single or married but being in Christ. So I wanted to bless everybody in the room, married or single, and pray that they would know themselves "in Christ."

It will be interesting to watch that on video ... :)

It was a gorgeous bouquet, crafted by my friend Carol. I hung it to dry beside Kevin’s boutonniere at the log cabin where we stayed on our honeymoon, then forgot it when we left. I wonder if they’ve saved it for me …

my new partner

2011-01-08T15:33:00.001-08:00

Meet Kevin McCubbin. Construction manager, deep thinker, lover of God.

I married him last week.

Already we are planning projects: renos (i.e. home makeover!), teaching series, business planning workbook, my step-daughter’s birthday party …

Feels very natural to be his wife. We did a lot of the hard relational work beforehand. It was worth it.

Here are a few more pictures for you to view at AH Photography on Facebook. Enjoy!

high alert, i.e., “a lot of paranoia”

2010-12-28T08:35:00.001-08:00

My poor friend Crystal got interrogated 3 times at Canada Customs & Immigration last night! Traveling alone with her baby, 3 separate officials grilled her about whether this really was her child and whether she really was allowed to travel alone with the baby, since she lacked that sort of documentation from her husband.

The 2nd official called Crystal's house in China! Even though he believed Crystal, he didn't give her anything saying she had passed his checkpoint, and the 3rd guy was worse than the other two put together. After questioning her to the point of tears, he made her wait while he took her passports and came out to find me and ask me all about her. I was sitting down when he came through the doors and I just had a feeling he was looking for me. I freely told him everything I could think of about Crystal. He esp. wanted to know about her marital and family status: "Is she still married to Jim? Where is he right now?" I told about each of their four children, ending with, "And then they had K this summer, obviously." (This morning I smiled wryly at my use of the word "obviously." No, it wasn’t obvious to him at all!)

In the midst of all that, Crystal forgot to claim her car seat, so we had to go back to Customs. Fortunately, the lovely official who came to the door let me go in for the car seat instead of Crystal. Officer Christine was very sweet about the whole ordeal, explaining that security checkpoints are on high alert for family abductions during the holidays. It’s such a big issue, that the Government of Canada provides a 19-page resource: International Child Abductions: A Manual for Parents. Traveling from China to Canada via the USA, poor Crystal apparently seemed suspicious and got caught in what her second questioner called "a lot of paranoia."

If only someone had communicated clearly somewhere along the line that travelers should carry proof of permission! Crystal has traveled so much with her other children—even alone with some of them as babies—and has never encountered any problems like this. Being in a healthy marriage Sometimes systems can be way too efficient!

Anyway, she's here now and we have already had such "a good giggle" as Prince William would say. Looking forward to more giggles and more friends arriving today.

let the in-gathering begin

2010-12-27T14:59:00.001-08:00

People are coming from far and wide.

Crystal is arriving tonight … all the way from China. About 7 years ago I rode a Greyhound bus from Moose Jaw to Boise, Idaho (via Salt Lake City) for her wedding. She is making a similarly long and arduous journey for me, also via Salt Lake City! But she’s bringing a 6 month old baby.

Chelle is coming from Seattle. She might be in Alberta already – I’m not sure.

Sherry is coming from Vancouver tomorrow.

My in-laws joke about half of Saskatchewan coming for the wedding!

Tomorrow evening, my cousin Brandi is throwing a shower for me. I look forward to this special time of gathering in the company of women to bless and encourage me just two nights before I enter the bridal chamber.

Thank you.

mortification of the flesh

2010-12-27T14:54:00.001-08:00

I’m feeling a bit dizzied by all the wedding details yet to be accomplished. That and the sobering magnitude of the commitment we’re about to make!

Mike Mason expresses my wariness: “There were many times when I felt quite seriously that everything my life had stood for was being challenged, or that somehow I had been tricked into selling my very soul for the sake of a woman’s love! In short, there was a lot at stake as the wedding day approached; in fact there was everything at stake.”

I do not feel tricked or hoodwinked. I feel painfully aware of the impending commitment: welcoming it, yet reverently fearing it at the same time. Kevin and I are about to embark on a transformational journey from which there is no return. I tire of leaving him at the end of our days together. By the end of the week I won’t be able to get rid of him. We’ll be (willingly) cooped up together in a log cabin with coffee, popcorn, movies, books, and plenty of taxidermy! We’ll be learning about each other in new ways, very vulnerable ways. And we will be changed, “as iron sharpens iron.” Kevin says marriage involves “mortification of the flesh.” Doesn’t sound pretty, does it? Perhaps it’s fitting that we will share a cabin with stuffed wild animals: the heads of 3 big-horn sheep rams, 2 caribou, and one complete cougar shot by our hosts’ son. Mortification, indeed.

Oh, I know that marriage is not all grim. In fact, I know many people for whom marriage is absolute joy and endless delight. And they’re not living in denial either! However, even they have their moments of rubbing the rough edges off each other.

I have a lot of things to do, so I’ll direct you to more of Mike Mason’s reflections:

But how hard it is to give everything! Indeed it is impossible. One can make a symbolic gesture of giving all, accompanied by a grand dramatic public statement to that effect (which is what happens at the wedding ceremony). But this is just a start. The wedding is merely the beginning of a lifelong process of handing over absolutely everything, and not simply everything that one owns but everything that one is.

Read more …

Actually, let’s end with Philippians 2:1-11.

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
   to the glory of God the Father.

sweet sardines

2010-12-08T22:14:00.001-08:00

Youth group. Leader announces “a friendly game of Sardines” and reviews the rules.

The girl who is almost my step-daughter and almost 12 bounces over: “Come on, Colleen!”

I reply, “I don’t feel well.” (Truly I didn’t.)

Shoulders sag in disappointment, but she bounces back to her friends.

Suddenly I think it best to exert myself, so stand and join them. She’s thrilled.

Together we search the darkened church sanctuary. I am the first to find the hider.

I gesture and whisper the secret to my almost-step-daughter and crawl under the row. The girl follows.

More youths follow. My elbow is jumped on—all part of the fun!

Several girls leave the hiding spot, presumably to act as decoys (and wear off energy).

Almost-step-daughter stays, inches closer and pokes me, as she is wont to do.

I poke back. Our fingers play a bit, then settle in. We lay quietly linked until the game ends.

Who knew Sardines could be so sweet?

p.s. Because I found the hider first, I was “it” for the next round. Wedged behind a Christmas tree, I overheard almost-step-daughter explain, “She’s marrying my dad.” :)

p.p.s. It’s been fun to invite kids to our wedding. Surprising how many have never been to one.

know your numbers

2010-12-06T21:39:00.001-08:00

1 cup of water, first thing in the morning, then 3 cups of coffee, and I still didn’t feel woken until about 1 pm.
1010 AM and 1140 AM: radio stations of choice (though neither got much airtime from me today).
4 hours of web development. We’re getting closer to ready to launch: www.northernlakeshealthcommittee.ca.
3 hours in the bookstore.
1600 lbs of books delivered by Purolator from Foundation Distributing, shrink-wrapped on its own skid, mostly Eerdmans publications because there was a stupendous sale.
10ish other boxes from various other book distributors.
6 new online RSVPs confirming 20 more guests at our wedding.
3 music students.
$25 “free” gift card from Co-op for buying $100+ in groceries.

2 plates of spaghetti and meat sauce for K & me.
2 hours of sitting on the couch and talking.
24 days until our wedding.

What are some of your numbers?

keep a list

2010-12-04T09:01:00.001-08:00

She is like me: so many creative ideas, she hardly knows where to start!

When my cousin Kelly came to work on my wedding dress, she also brought samples of her newest business venture: caps. She makes welding caps, chef pill hats, and doo-rags.

This venture was birthed at last February’s Creative Women gathering: five women, including Kelly & me. At the time, Kelly was thinking hard about how to direct all her entrepreneurial and artistic energy. On Thursday, she reminded me about two nuggets of advice I had given:

1. Add to an ongoing list every day for a month, and something will be there at the end.

2. Find something you’re not emotionally attached to for your creative business.

So Kelly took my advice (!) and near the end of March, “Caps by Kelly” emerged, a division of “Kelly Mouse Closet”. She started sewing samples, sourcing materials and seeking customers.

Of course she has been dialoguing about it with her husband who both supports and challenges her. Other people, like Kelly’s mom, have taken a wait-and-see vantage, wondering if this will be another flash-in-the-pan idea. But when my aunt realized this was not just an idea but a serious business launch, she became a raving fan, eager to show samples to anyone who might want to buy some.

The business is still fledgling, but already Kelly has an account with a local college. One day I will post an interview with Kelly on my Creative Women blog (in process & parked here).

heirlooms

2010-12-02T23:35:00.001-08:00

Today my cousin Kelly came to work on my wedding dress.

She fixed the underskirt …

… that was a few inches too long, for some reason.

And she helped me feel connected

to family,

to the bigger story

of my imminent wedding and marriage.

I didn’t notice until cropping pictures for this post:

behind my dress

on the shelves in my future in-laws’ basement

are pictures of brides,

couples on their wedding days.

I belong here.

Yesterday Kelly said she kept seeing an image of me

upstairs in our Grandmother’s house,

sorting things.

I forgot to tell her about the song I’ll be singing

in church on December 19th:

HEIRLOOMS

(Bob Farrell, Brown Bannister, Amy Grant)

Up in the attic, down on my knees
Lifetimes of boxes, timeless to me
Letters and photographs yellowed with years
Some bringing laughter, some bringing tears

Time never changes the memories, the faces
Of loved ones, who bring to me
All that I come from
And all that I live for
And all that I'm going to be
My precious family
Is more than an heirloom to me

Wiseman and shepherds down on their knees
Bringing their treasures to lay at his feet
Who was this wonder baby yet king?
Living and dying, He gave life to me

Time never changes the memory
the moment His love first pierced through me
Telling all that I come from
And all that I live for
And all that I'm going to be
My precious savior
Is more than an heirloom to me

My precious Jesus Is more than an heirloom to me

Day 8 – never mind the wagon

2010-11-22T10:26:00.001-08:00

Almost all my conversations are about the wedding. There’s nothing particularly new to report. Plans are moving along, step by step.

Basically, I’m living between three places until the wedding (my brother’s place, my in-laws, my fiance’s), so November was a stupid month to try the NaBloPoMo challenge. My friends will tell you that one of my greatest strengths is also a great weakness: I’m (overly) optimistic.

So never mind the band wagon. I’ll post when I can.

Day 7 – getting back on the wagon

2010-11-14T22:55:00.001-08:00

All week I’ve been thinking about this blog and intentionally letting it slide. Blogging gurus say regular posting is critical to increased followership. Fair enough. But right now, I’m blogging to track my progress in business and in wedding plans.

Last week was full, full, full with meetings and transitions. I left my laptop at my fiancé's house most of the week in order to focus on the bookstore and packing to move. Living with my brother has been good, but we needed to cut my commuting time in the weeks leading up to the wedding, so as of Thursday I am staying in my future in-laws’ basement suite. Seems like a reasonable arrangement thus far. I really enjoy my future mother-in-law.

On Monday, Kathleen McMillan was in Calgary, tagging along with her husband Grant as he attended a conference. She used the two days to catch up on some admin work for Open Eyes Books and to visit with me. We spent Monday morning meeting at Phil & Sebastian Coffee in Marda Loop, where Kathleen had the best yogurt she’d ever tasted. We spread out our books and got down to business. In the process, two different people overheard our conversations and talked to us about it.

First there was Jen, the business coach, who works specifically with women entrepreneurs, helping them figure out how to make their businesses profitable. We each took one of her cards.

Then there was Chris(?), who is clearly proud and supportive of his wife, who was at the other end of the shop conducting a meeting. He gave us one of her cards and a complimentary copy of her book.

Aside from the significant headway that Kathleen and I made, these two conversations were extremely heartening for us, like affirmations that we’re on the right track.

Yesterday was a wedding shopping day: men’s suits from Moores and ideas for “intelligent storage solutions” from IKEA.

Today, a meeting with the two women who will oversee our wedding catering. That’s a HUGE piece to get into place and I came away tired but satisfied with our progress..

And now, to sleep, perchance to dream.

Day 6 – Singleness and Marriage

2010-11-06T23:25:00.001-07:00

Today it’s 54 days until our wedding. Fifty-four more good-byes at the end of the day (give or take a few). Fifty-four more nights of sleeping alone.

¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam^[f] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:18-22

K and I had a pre-marital counseling session with our pastor today. Last time we met, Pastor Mel gave us questionnaires to fill out individually. Today we reviewed them and Pastor Mel was most encouraging. He flagged a couple of areas that we might want to talk about with each other and, possibly, with a qualified third party, but for the most part he affirmed our thoughtfulness and our suitedness and at the end of the meeting he blessed us and that appears to be that. Two sessions and we’re off!

I suspect if we had more serious issues he would have worked longer with us or been more urgent in recommending that we see another counselor. We do need to start meeting with our officiating pastor, and I have a feeling he will draw out some of these conversations.

View Full Album

So K and I are leaving singleness and entering weddedness. A year and a half ago, I front-loaded our relationship with difficult questions and intense emotional work. I didn’t want any surprises. I wanted to be sure of K. There was some wisdom in that approach—and, unfortunately, too much fear. After so many years of wondering if I was destined to be single and/or childless, I marvel that marriage is on my doorstep.

I never want to forget what it was like to be single for so long, with all of the emotional, social, relational, spiritual complexity. I know that marriage means trading one set of complexities for another, but I never want my coupled state to eclipse my awareness that it is difficult to be alone.

In an interview about his new book, Redeeming Singleness, Barry Danylak explains,

Paul is not contradicting Genesis—that is he is not say that it is good to be alone. Paul does not envision a life of singleness that is a life lived in isolation, but a life lived in close community and fellowship with the new family of God in Christ.

There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. Being alone can be a healthy state of solitude. Being lonely can happen even in a crowd—the sense of being disconnected, unseen, unsupported, unwanted. Aloneness needs no cure. Loneliness needs gentle care. “God sets the lonely in families,” the psalmist writes (Psalm 68:6).

K and I talk a lot about our home. We share a love for hospitality. Already, with his daughter and his cousin living there, we are and will be a blended family, and we love to include more. Lauren Winner resonates with this:

One of the many experiences America has privatized is marriage; we believe that marriage is something given to two people for their companionship, fulfillment, happiness, and perhaps for the rearing of children. While companionship, kids, et cetera, are clearly part of marriage, in the Christian landscape I think we have to see that marriage is not given exclusively, or even primarily, to the couple. (And insofar as it is given to them, it is for their transformation, not their fulfillment.) It is given to the community, the church, to be a sign to the community of God’s relentless faithfulness. Other people’s marriages instruct me in what faithfulness looks like.

Our marriage is not to be for ourselves, for our own pleasure and healing. It is to be for others, from Christ and to him and through him. We love because Christ first loved us. We love each other and we love others because of Christ.

Day 5 – The problem with NaBloPoMo

2010-11-06T08:42:00.001-07:00

The problem with trying to blog every day for a month is that sometimes you write things in a hurry and don’t re-read them and they don’t hang together very well: like yesterday’s post.

Nothing profound to (try to) report today. Had lots of important conversations yesterday and will have more today:

View Full Album

:: I love talking up some of the new books that are in or coming into Ambrose Bookstore. Four from yesterday include Redeeming Singleness (mentioned yesterday), A. B. Simpson and the Pentecostal Movement by Ambrose professor Charles Nienkirchen, The Next Christendom by Philip Jenkins, and Forgotten Voices by Barbara L. Howe.

:: Spent a couple of hours going through wedding checklists with K’s parents, especially budget considerations. Not always “fun” but important, with some entertaining moments.

:: Organizing the food catering team for our wedding.

:: Launching Samantha’s First Story at 10:30 this morning at Monkey Shines in Calgary’s Marda Loop.

:: Doing a pre-marital counseling session with K & Pastor Mel this afternoon.

:: Getting ready to spend some time with Kathleen McMillan on Monday morning and evening.

There’s an awful lot to do … but it’s good, it’s very good.

Day 4 – How to be Married

2010-11-05T08:27:00.001-07:00

So I’m getting married. It’s the way of the world. People get divorced and they still try marriage (or at least relationship) again.

At 42 (I don’t mind telling you) I am approaching marriage for the first time. This will be my fiance’s second marriage. He is 37 and not the same man he was before, so this time his approach is radically different. Not just because he is more grown up or merely because he has learned a few things, but because he has been transformed by the gospel. He became a Christian after his divorce (through an Alpha course at our current church). He took a DivorceCare course and spent several years “waiting at the line of reconciliation,” being an attentive father, and basically learning to be faithful. After wind knocked him off a roof and out of the work force, he spend long days reading the Bible and theology. He has no formal education to speak of, but he is one of the most well-read men I have met. I have two masters degrees, and he constantly surprises, challenges and delights me with his insights.

My fiance’s perspective on marriage in light of Ephesians 5 refreshes, delights, inspires, and chastises me. Our courtship was long and he was so careful. Since he placed the symbol of his intent on my finger, I have been astounded and healed by his grace-filled care for me, but this not of himself, but from Christ through the Holy Spirit of God. He often laments that so much Christian writing on marriage (or anything) is just “therapeutic moralistic deism”: good ideas salted with Bible verses, but really no better than any person’s best ideas, and those ideas might make things “work” better, but ultimately they give us more things to do, placing burdens on our shoulders, not really freeing us from or for anything. So the Ephesians 5 call to a man to sacrificially give himself up for his wife is just a burden unless he stays in Christ (and in so doing to love his wife as Christ loved the church) and realizes that he can only love his wife (or anyone) because Christ has loved him first. A profound mystery.

Because of this, I am eager to share a new book with Kevin: Redeeming Singleness by Barry Danylak. Barry dropped it off at Ambrose Bookstore earlier this week.

Day 3 - did I say every day?

2010-11-04T00:03:00.001-07:00

Quotidian challenge of NaBloPoMo. Every day. Did I really say I would write every single day for a month? And this just two months before my wedding? Hmmm. Must be certifiably insane.

Went to High River with my future in-laws yesterday to check out venues. We toured Highwood Memorial Centre and the Full Gospel church and booked both of them for Kevin’s and my wedding. Now am wrestling with invitations. Good grief. My wedding is 1.75 months away and we’ve barely started formally inviting people. Even so, we HAVE been spreading the word.

This afternoon I was longed to be a student again when someone invited me to supper with Rudy Wiebe. Alas, I could not go, but I got in on his lecture at Ambrose University College this evening, then sold several of his books afterwards. Got him to sign a few for me, too, and had the nicest little chat with him. Wish it could have been longer. During the lecture and the Q&A I thought of all kinds of brilliant things to blog about, but they have flown from my mind.

My calendar has just beeped at me to take my turn praying for Zac, a boy from our church who is having major surgery today. So I’ll publish this and do that …

Day 2 – I said yes

2010-11-01T23:05:00.001-07:00

Today's NaBloPoMo writing prompt: Tell us the story of a piece of jewelry you own. Where did it come from, and what does it mean to you?

Kevin and I spent two weekends looking for rings. We found my wedding ring right away, a beautiful, elfin design that delighted both of us, but the engagement ring was more difficult because our tastes are quite different. I wanted a ring that we both loved and learned to watch his expressions: the blank look, the obvious frown, the pleased little smile. He bought this one on the spot.
As much as he wished I could wear it immediately, he wanted to ask my father's blessing first, so we waited a week until Thanksgiving (Canadian). On Saturday afternoon he went for a walk with Dad, and later that evening he went for a walk with me. He put his arm around my should and said, "I'm really looking forward to marrying you."

We found a secluded picnic table. He set the box on it and we sat facing each other on the same side."I don't really know the words," he told me, "but I want you to be my wife."

"I want to be your wife," I responded.

"May I put this symbol of my intent on your finger?" he asked.

Guess what I said ... :)

NaBloPoMo anyone? OR Blogs & online dating

2010-11-01T20:41:00.001-07:00

I thought it was something post-modern when I saw it on Rebekah Joy Plett’s blog. You know: pomo. And maybe it is a pomo thing to do, but that’s not what NaBloPoMo means; it’s National Blog Posting Month, “the epicenter of daily blogging! People who want to set the habit of blogging by doing it every day for a month, including weekends, can come here for moral support, inspiration, and the camaraderie that only marathon blogging can provide.”

Why not? I get on and off the blogging bandwagon. Of course, when I’m off it’s because I feel like I’ve nothing to say. Or because I’ve got a lot going on in the depths of my being and am holding my cards close to my chest or am treasuring wonders in my heart, much like Mary in the early years of Jesus’ life (Luke 2:19 & 51)

I have two significant blogs: this one and Siretona Creative. Because of the two conversations theme, this is the obvious blog for the NaBloPoMo challenge. However, I hope it spins off to Siretona, because there are so many creative women (and men) you need to know about, and because I want to blog more regularly over there.

In the next two months and beyond, you can expect a lot of conversations about my upcoming wedding. That’s right: WEDDING. Something I wasn’t sure would ever happen (see Rambling Thoughts Towards a Book Review). But lo, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, the internet linked me with my knight in shining Chevy.

Online dating was a horrific experience, let me tell you. For about 4 years I subjected myself to it through Christian Cafe, a fair enough site with helpful guidelines and controls built in. I got involved with one guy for about 3 years through it, but he wasn’t right at all. (Don’t ask me why it lasted so long—I still puzzle over that. Mom says, “He spoke your language.” Sure.) Then there were the illiterates: the guys who would send inane messages and questions that could have easily been answered if they had read my profile. That’s why it was there: to be read and to jump-start conversations. Sometimes the filtering process was easier than others.

At one point, my brother Jeffrey forbade me to go on that site anymore. “But,'” I wailed, “they keep sending me three free days!” That’s when Jeffrey washed his hands of the mess. But then Kevin sent me the nicest note to encourage me and he included details that indicated he had read my profile. He didn’t expect it to go anywhere: he was in Calgary and my nearest city was Regina. But then I had a trip to Calgary so suggested we connect, which we did: four hours on a Friday night during which he talked my ear off, mostly about theology. At the end I asked, “Are things always this heady and intense in your world?” He replied, “Only when I’m having a good time.” I took it as a compliment.

We started corresponding and very soon he started calling, then I had a long stop in the Calgary airport, so he came for coffee and it was clear he was interested. Then he wanted to come see me and drove all night to spend a weekend in June with me at my brother’s place. We held hands. It was official.

I went to Calgary in July (5 days), he came to Sask in July (10 days), he came to Sask in August (2 days), I went to Calgary in September (4 days) and October (4 days) and suddenly it became clear that I needed to move to see if this would actually work. So on November 14th I packed my Crown Victoria and drove all night to Calgary.

It was a long, dark, difficult winter, yet it was important. The relationship did more than survive, so here we are, engaged to be married on December 30th. I love that man.

Aside from an accident and traffic tickets, lack of employment and income, feeling completely uprooted and dangling, I have chiefly wrestled with identity questions: who am I? what’s essential to fight for and what must I relinquish—or be prepared to relinquish? I knew those thoughts might make great blog posts, but I couldn’t tell the web about them just yet: the struggle was too painful, and I wanted to know which way the relationship would go before saying anything, wanted to protect Kevin. But now I can tell the world!

conversations that really matter

2010-09-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

This blog was started to track conversations about business, but some exchanges eclipse any commercial interaction.

On Sunday morning I sat beside a child in church.

Her dad was teaching Sunday School. Since she has outgrown her dad's class, he wants her to sit in the main service and learn to take notes. So side-by-side we wrote. Her inscriptions were sparse. When I turned my paper to the second side, the child marveled, "You're like my dad! How can you take so many notes?"

"We listen for the things that are interesting to us," I explained. "And we try to follow the preacher's outline and get his main points. More important, we listen for what's meaningful and write that down."

Her notes got thicker, more interesting, and more meaningful. The preacher is new to our congregations, so his sermon began autobiographically ("there is nothing good about me except for Jesus Christ"), and moved into preparing us for communion.

"What is it that commends me to this table?" the preacher asked, and the child wrote that down. "My sin," the preacher answered, and the child wrote that down. "Christ came not to save the righteous but sinners," he continued, and the child wrote it down. Later she observed to her dad, "He was talking about justification." She got the point.

We can never be good enough. Some people examine themselves and, finding themselves wanting, bypass the bread and wine (or juice). At the same time, our preacher noted, we can never be good enough. Communion is not about tallying our badness to bar us from eating nor tallying our goodness to earn the right to eat: it is about coming before our Saviour and receiving his gift of salvation. "Is there anything God can't do?" asked the preacher. "Yes: God cannot see my sin when it is covered by the blood of Jesus."

So communion followed, and the child bypassed the bread, telling me, "I don't know if I'm allowed." I called the usher back to serve her. She took a piece of bread and I inquired, "Are you a sinner in need of a Saviour?" She nodded with a look of wonder. I replied, "Then you're allowed." She smiled, relieved.

I know that training in religion can be controversial, that some biological parents are even reticent to 'indoctrinate' their own children. But all adults who associate with children have a hand in training the young, whether explicitly or implicitly. Why not train intentionally rather than haphazardly? We can do it without imposing. We can invite without forcing. We can encourage with certain spiritual disciplines without damaging. We can offer the truth (as we understand it), in hopes that the child will grow to a reflective adult who chooses and responds well and discerns what really is truth and what is not.

This is the real work that matters: to train children in ways they should go. And Sunday morning was one such rich moment for me.

Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

sharpening, polishing, naming

2010-08-29T00:29:00.001-07:00

AN EMAIL

August 27, 2010

Dearest Colleen

A couple of weeks ago I was cleaning up and I found a series of old notes between you and I from way back in our Briercrest days.* You sent me a poem by Madeleine L’Engle poem (or is it Luci Shaw?) where it mentions her friend polishing her silver? It is a poem celebrating their friendship and work together I have always thought of it as a gentler feminine version of the Bible's as "iron sharpens iron." In my note back to you I said, "thank you for polishing my silver." And I thank you again.

much much blessing be upon you,

Kathleen

*About 6 years ago.

A POEM

(found in Friends for the Journey by Madeleine L’Engle and Luci Shaw)

Madeleine’s Candlesticks

by Luci Shaw

Zabar’s, a New York Saturday morning, I bought

a box of rosy pillar candles, stacked

like quadruplets in the womb, for her four

silver candlesticks which stand, flanking

the orange tulips at table center, tall

and elegant as Madeleine herself. Flames

have danced their highlights on the

visiting faces around the oval table ever since

the sterling quartet was willed to her.

Every visit I search the kitchen for

the soft cotton rags and the clay-colored polish

(a favor; her maid “doesn’t do silver”).

One afternoon, buffing away, I noticed her name,

misspelled “Madeleine,” etched dark and faint

along one elliptical base. I knew then I was polishing

not just her treasures but my friend, burnishing

with the well-worn cloth of friendship her silver

self, lifting the light tarnish of time and wear.

Like my shining her words into their

places in her books; like her lighting

blooms of fire in a thousand shadowed minds.

THREE NAMES

I first knew as Kathleen as Kathy in the fall of 1998. Everyone knew her as Kathy. She grew up answering to Kathy. But during the time I knew her at Briercrest, she experienced a beautiful transformation that was both visible (her appearance) and invisible (her spirit). She went from sweet and smart, to graceful and wise. With the transformation, she wanted to start using her full name, Kathleen. She had already borne and was homeschooling three children, she ran a home business, managed her household competently and creatively, was completing a BA, and more, yet the choice to go from Kathy to Kathleen seemed to signal a shift from girl to woman. Loving it, I was among the first to call her Kathleen. It’s always a surprise to hear people call her anything else.

My friend Judith did the same. She grew up as Judy. She married, made a home, mothered two daughters, and was close to becoming a grandmother when she realized she had outgrown Judy and had grown into her full name, Judith: a decisive, mature, and comforting name.

Then there’s Eden whose name used to be Edith. Edith is a respectable name, somehow matronly, but Eden signifies new and fruitful life, rich and welcoming. This is Eden . Since changing her name, she has been ordained as a pastor in her church and her husband says both the name and the role fit her perfectly.

collecting votes

2010-08-16T08:25:00.001-07:00

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22

Last week my friend Michelle came to visit. We laughed. A lot. We had deep conversations. She spent about 7 hours on Wednesday helping me rearrange the Ambrose Bookstore (before & after).

She challenged me in several areas. One question was, “What does a settled Colleen look like?” She thought I was particularly settled and peaceful in Duval/Strasbourg. What was the difference between those two years and other life seasons?

“I gave myself,” I replied. “I had nowhere else to go, and nowhere else I wanted to go.”

This seemed key.

I also talked with our friend Dale. She had slightly different opinions from Michelle.

Then I got an email from Judith. We discussed these things back and forth. She reminded me that it’s not about giving myself to a place or a person or a task, but it’s first about giving myself to God.

Epiphany: too often I pretend to seek counsel when really I’m polling my friends and collecting votes on my decisions. I don’t trust my inner compass. I forget to give myself to God and trust him with to provide guidance and peace. The most important conversation of all.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

you would think ...

2010-08-16T07:24:00.000-07:00

... that I haven't been having conversations in the last two months, or at least that they're not related to vision and goals. But I have. And it has often been hard work. I've been experiencing a bit of a cocooning process. In fact, if it were easy to find a butterfly background, I would have used it, cliches aside!

I have been wrestling with the question, "Do you really want to build a business?" And the best answers I can come up with are along the lines of I think so and I'm pretty sure. Not convincing.

I do want to write and edit.
I do want to empower women.
I do want to work in the arts.
I do want to influence community building.
I do want to help strengthen intergenerational bonds and see nations set free.
But how? Through business?

Wrestling.

Reading a wide range of blogs like these

These are all blogs that touch on at least one of my interests: the arts, business, women. Occasionally I post comments on some of them. Even just the reading and pondering is a conversation, an internal dialogue.

Of course, I've been talking to Kathleen McMillan because, business or no business, we are developing a product line: www.openeyes.ca.

And I've got a new job as Bookstore Manager at Ambrose University College. It's half-time. I've been working full-time on reception for the summer, a wonderful way to get to know people in the institution. It's been such a relief to have work like this and I'm thrilled to be back in an academic context. But I'm also relieved to be done reception as of last Friday, to focus on the bookstore for 20 hours a week (give or take) and to catch up on other projects that languished in the past two months.

vocation

2010-06-23T00:42:00.001-07:00

What is this unshakable sense of purpose—an unknown, yet compelling path I must walk, something that goes beyond a day job, beyond earning money?

He says, “It’s okay to have a vocation.”

I say, “I don’t think we’re using the same definition. When I say vocation I mean calling. When you say vocation you mean occupation.”

He says, “That’s right. Now you mean what I mean.”

I snap, “No, I do not.”

My path is not something he ever imagined intersecting with his path, let alone running parallel. I know what my vocation has been. But what should it be from this point forward? We are both mystified and frustrated by the questions. Meantime, we both keep walking and wondering, praying and pondering. We keep talking.

And I sing and write. My blogs haven’t prove that lately, but I have been singing and writing. These tasks are at the heart of my calling.

I am a poetess

And one day I will take my place

Among the grandmothers and wise women

I am a poetess

Between the silences

I hear stories and find the words to speak.

Listen to “Poetess” here.

Last week I sang this song in Thursday’s main session at Write! Canada. The next morning (Friday) I led my colleagues in worship. The previous evening (Wednesday, left) I sang “Child of My Heart” at the Canadian Christian Writing Awards. And our MC, Herbie Kuhn (announcer for the Toronto Raptors), could hardly speak afterwards, said he had expected to feel a lot of emotions that evening, but had not expected to be moved to tears. As an adoptive father, he felt like he could have written many of those words. He nearly broke down weeping, had a hard time regaining control. A surprise. An honour.

With dreams for this song—possibly God-given dreams—I spoke freely all week about my ideas to develop a resource package for crisis pregnancy centres to use in fundraising and education. Now it’s time for market research.

Two of the song’s biggest fans were in the audience: Kathleen and Hannah Busch. They are the original inspiration for the song’s title.Kathleen took Hannah into her home two years ago and was finally able to adopt her a few months ago. They played “Child of My Heart” at a special adoption blessing service in October. Hannah has the CD and often falls asleep listening to it. She knows all the words. They live in BC, but just happened to be traveling in Ontario last week. Co-incidence. Seems like a God-incidence to me.

I am a poetess—singer-songwriter, storyteller, writer, editor, someone who takes care of stories. I have come home from Write! Canada with a collection of stories gleaned from conversations. Let me begin to tell …

setting up systems

2010-05-21T00:32:00.001-07:00

Conversation #1: Kathleen McMillan

We are at a crossroads with Open Eyes Books. What exactly is our relationship to one another and to the project/business? What systems do we need to put in place to establish the business solidly and ensure clarity and success as we move forward—especially before printing any more books. We talked about where Open Eyes Books sits on the E-Myth business cycle: http://www.e-myth.com/cs/user/print/post/the-small-business-cycle

Conversation #2: E-Myth Experience

Kathleen & I participated in a conference call today. Sure it was a bit of a sales pitch, but I felt it would be really important for Kathleen and I in getting on the same page, asking the same questions about pursuing this business and moving ahead.

Conversation #3: Bill Higgins

Bill is an E-Myth Program Advisor who contacted me yesterady, almost immediately after I had filled out a form to gain access to E-Myth’s resources page. Today we had another call, this one to chat with Kathleen and I together—and serendipitously with Kathleen’s husband who had come home because the power was out at his work.

We aren’t convinced that we should invest in this kind of coaching just yet, but it was, as I had hoped, helpful in giving us common language.

I plan to either borrow their key book from the library or buy it. Either way, I need to read it and I

Conversation #4: Mark Donnelly

A few weeks ago Mark and I met on Facebook through a discussion on someone else’s page. After some SSP (shameless self-promotion) both ways, Mark ordered a copy of BlueBeary online. Today he sent me this message:

Hi Colleen, the Bluebeary book came yesterday. Wow! The calligraphy and the note were an amazing touch! I don't think I've ever received any mail with lettering like that other than an occasional wedding invitation. And, both kids were engaged before I even started reading it (they loved the cover). The only problem is that they keep wanting me to count the blueberries on the cover. :) Dangit, who put so many?!? LOL

Anyway, just wanted to let you know we got it and we love it. Thanks!!

Mark

Of course it was Rebekah Joy Plett who put all those blueberries on the cover. There weren’t so many at first, but Rebekah realized that with less she had effectively beheaded the bear!

Silent No More – Women for Life International

2010-05-14T14:07:00.001-07:00

CONVERSATION #1:

I have some ideas for the song Child of my Heart, besides singing at The Word Guild 2010 Writing Awards. But I can’t accomplish them alone. So, believing that at least some of these ideas are God-given idea, I’m starting to send out emails and make phone calls.

Today’s conversation was with Denise Mountenay. Denise is the founder and president of Canada Silent No More and co-founder/director of Women for Life International. We probably talked about 10 minutes, but there was a powerful connection. I followed with an email that details the song’s background and ideas for development.

Denise directed me to find these videos.

I had found Denise’s number on the Canada Silent No More site and called before knowing about her involvement with Women for Life International. In this we have a huge common interest. Last week I was given the May 4th, 2010 edition of The Economist and was saddened and emboldened by two stories: “The worldwide war on baby girls” (cover), and “Sobs on the night breeze” (review of Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love by Xinran).

‘The core of “Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother” is the individual stories of women who have lost their daughters. One would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by them.’

There is local work to be done. There is international work to be done. There is work to be done, but not in our own strength or by our own means.

Guide us, O Thou Great Jehovah, pilgrims through this barren land.

We are weak, but You are mighty, guide us with Your powerful hand …

Strong deliverer, strong deliverer,

Be Thou still my strength and shield;

Be Thou still my strength and shield.

CONVERSATION #2:

McKenzie Towne School hosted me several weeks ago and then hosted Kathleen and I more recently. They’re using BlueBeary books as a fundraiser for their library. I called and emailed to see where they’re at and how much longer they want to go.

adjusting the rules

2010-04-13T08:07:00.001-07:00

I need to rework the rules for this blog a bit. So first a preamble about rules:

The rules need to be realistic to serve me and my business, rather than obligating me to serve the blog and setting me up for failure if I don't keep my own rules! The guidelines for this blog are NOT the key metrics for my business. This blog is a mirror for demonstrating some of my business activities and progress, not a benchmark. This blog was really more of an interesting idea than a necessary function of business. The blog needs to be more than a list of names and topics—it is to be a reflective tool. If I'm too busy having conversations to put up a daily post, then the blog must take lower priority. However, the blog is helpful for accountability, so if I'm too busy having conversations to put up a weekly reflective post, I probably need to rearrange my schedule a bit.

Original Rules

1. Have two conversations five days a week about what I'm doing and/or why I'm doing it.

2. Email counts, though phone is better and in-person is best.

3. Report those conversations here, with one post for every two conversations or so.

4. As appropriate, provide names, links, contact info, pictures, etc.

5. Have fun building a business through being a Connector (as per Malcolm Gladwell).

6. Periodically reflect on the significance of these conversations.

Adjusted Rules

1. Average two conversations five days a week about what I'm doing and/or why I'm doing it.

2. Email counts, though phone is better and in-person is best.

3. Enjoy building a business through being a Connector (as per Malcolm Gladwell).

4. Report some of those conversations here. Try to report weekly or more—e.g. by Thursday or Friday as the business week is winding down, or Monday/Tuesday after a weekend of touring or conferencing.

5. Reflect on the significance of these conversations.

6. As appropriate, provide names, links, contact info, pictures, etc.

sidetracked or tracking?

2010-04-12T16:20:00.001-07:00

CONVERSATION #1: Kevin

Kevin and I have been talking about how I invest my time and energy and whether the things I do fit my purpose as well as accomplishing my income goals.

CONVERSATION #2: Myself

This afternoon I sat down to ponder some questions that came to my inbox this morning from Think TQ:

Are You Constantly Sidetracked?

Short-term goals are likely to be interrupted by unexpected developments. Staying focused on your destination and flexible with your plans will help you overcome demoralizing sidetracks.
"In the long run men hit only what they aim at." – Thoreau

Today's Quest...
Answer Honestly:

Where are you now, in relation to your destination? _________________________________

What roadblocks loom between where you are right now and your destination? _________________________________

What adjustments can you make in the next 2 weeks to bring you closer to your target? _________________________________

My purpose is empowering women in the arts to build community among generations and nations. I'm starting to get there, but still need to make some adjustments.

CONVERSATION #3: tutoring client & director

I realized that tutoring is something that sidetracks me. When I first arrived in Calgary, it was a gift to have a few tutoring students, but at this point it’s no longer a good exchange of time and money.

With the resulting renewed clarity, I immediately dropped one of my three families, because their daughter is an unmotivated junior high girl who told her mom in front of me that she doesn't need a tutor. Rude? Uh, yeah. It was draining my energy and the money was less than worth it — especially after mileage, travel time, some prep, and frequent cancellations on both sides. She thinks she doesn't need a tutor. I KNOW I don't need a commitment like that.

But the two biggest factors are:

1. Tutoring, especially a student who doesn't really want me there , does NOT feed into my purpose of empowering women in the arts to build community that strengthens intergenerational bonds with international reach.

2. Tutoring is a non-leveraged, nearly static activity. I have so many other things to do and this ties me up too much. There’s an important place for one-on-one, but I’m not the one to fill that gap.

So I called the director of my tutoring program and told her that I’m finished with that family as of today and will carry the other two families just until the end of June.

CONVERSATION #3: preschool director, staff & students

By comparison, today's preschoolers gave me all the positive reinforcement I could want for days to come (they were SO excited!!!). I had such a nice connection with the director and her two staff members, with a strong sense that I was (a) giving them a helpful break and (b) empowering them in their educational mission with the children and their parents. AND for each of four 30-45 minute presentations, this gig pays me double and triple what I get in an hour of tutoring, plus providing exposure to nearly 100 kids & their families, leading to book sales through the website and bookstores in the city, plus more bookings — potentially a monthly gig at this preschool in the new school year.

So I'm grabbing my purpose and getting more firmly on track!

wish I had you here …

2010-03-18T14:09:00.001-07:00

Sometimes our conversations have a wider impact that we could not have imagined or intended. For example, my song ‘Incidentally.’* One conversation at summer camp in the late 1980s led to a long-time friendship with Lisa. In 1992 ‘Incidentally’ was prompted by a very sad letter from her. As I began to sing it in public, other people resonated with it—to the point of weeping and sometimes even ‘claiming’ it as their own. That was a strange transition for both Lisa and I—to realize that a private exchange had become publically important and that neither of us ‘owned’ the song anymore. It’s still “for Lisa”—and now it’s for with anyone else who has ever felt this way.

In February, my friend Sherry had a similar experience with this song:

It has been a long day. As I am writing this I am listening to “Incidentally” and man this should be my theme song right now. It would so be my mom's song with me. She always knew what to say when I was having a hard day. The words to the song really speak to my soul tonight. For the most part I have been doing well, but I am still struggling with some things. The line about not knowing how to trust Jesus... I love the question, “what do I do when he doesn't seem to hear?” cause that is where I feel like I am tonight.

Because of the things that are going on I am tired of living on the outside and tired of hurting. But the line "that’s why I am so glad I have you, you’re someone I can talk to, I know you understand but you’re so far away, and I wish you were here to hold my hand" means a lot to me because I do wish my mom was here to hold my hand through this time.

People tell me I am a lot like my mom in my faith, and how I go through dry seasons, but I also know that no matter what Jesus will be there. My mom used to hold my hand when I was little, and Jesus has held my hand since I was created.

Anyway thanks again for sharing the music God gives you. It heals through tears, and this song is helping healing my heart from a lot of wounds, and helping me through today. (used with permission)

So Sherry started sharing ‘Incidentally’ with people around her: friends, colleagues, students. Sherry works as an educational assistant in a private school Here are some responses from high school students:

Christine: The song made me feel sad and peaceful at the same time. It is a very touching song and thought that there was desperation for God.
Samantha: It’s about a girl who is tired of her masks! She has someone to talk to but they are far away. Makes me feel lonely, scared but hopeful too.
Carly: Feel I could fall asleep to this song at night, Love the piano in it. Made my heart feel better.
Jon: Feel happy and want to take more time to talk to Jesus. Was blessed by the song.

Sherry added, “Colleen I hope this encourages your heart. I wish you could have seen the kids faces...I could tell their hearts were blessed. It made the teacher cry.”

You just never know where one conversation will lead: to a friendship, a song, and many, many blessings.

* ‘Incidentally’ was originally recorded on the album Good Storyline and re-released on the EP Prairie Soul. You can listen to ‘Incidentally’ and purchase the digital download or the CD at www.colleenanddara.com.

work, work, work, fun, fun, fun

2010-03-04T15:52:00.001-08:00

“This is going to be fun!” declared little Isabella.

Some conversations lead to paid work, others lead to clarification. I’ve been tutoring with Tutor Doctor Calgary, and they recently advertised for an educational consultant/office assistant. So yesterday I chatted about the possibilities with Ollie and realized that the consulting work would be more of what I’m doing with the books and music: sales, bookings, customer care, etc. If I’m going to take another job, I’d like it to be something more predictable, something where I basically show up and do what someone asks me to do—and something more cohesive and stable than tutoring, which involves going from house to house. I like the Tutor Doctor philosophy of house calls, but I can’t commit to more of it right now. That said, I will probably contract to give them some admin support in the near future.

As long as I’m freelancing and networking, instead of learning a new system, I will keep growing with what I know: the books and music.

That said, I have found some work that I can (mostly) just show up for: teaching music for Keys to Music. Isabella is one of my new students and she’s right: this is going to will be fun!

p.s. Karen Greenstreet says self-employment is “the best lifestyle I know.” Then she qualifies that statement: “But it is hard work, plain and simple.” It’s The Hardest Way to Make Easy Money.

oops – find my lizard brain

2010-03-02T23:38:00.001-08:00

I’ve been using Windows Live Writer, a wonderful centralizing tool for blog management. Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t notice which blog I’m actually posting to. Until today I always figured it out before clicking “Publish.” So, the newest 2 Conversations post accidentally went to the Siretona blog: http://siretona.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-lizard-brain.html. Enjoy!

#1. Stop crying

2010-02-26T00:28:00.001-08:00

Today I met my new debt counselor: Tina the Accountess.

The first thing she did was hug me. Instantly I felt good about our meeting and all we had done was buy coffee!

The first thing I told her is that my first financial goal is to stop crying every time I talk about money. She smiled and assured me that this will come.

My second goal is actually two in tandem: establish a stable base income and get out of debt.

Third: continue building my business of empowering women in the arts, in which the primary project that drives the economic engine is the children’s books. In the meantime, to accomplish goal 2, I need a part-time job.

We had the most wonderful, helpful conversation ever and I came out relieved and energized on soooo many fronts. She told me more than once that she likes my website and that I have great potential. She proposed a barter, exchanging services: she'll help me financially if I help her write monthly newsletters, edit her blog, and breathe life into the copy on her new website. DEAL. That was easy.

She's giving me homework and I'm so excited to dig into it.

Tina is part of my new trio of business mentors, who I blogged about yesterday.

My biggest feelings at the end of the day include relief, joy, and courage. Thank you, Tina!

For the record: I had two other significant conversations today, with Anna in the morning and with Kevin in the evening. In saying good-bye to Anna I noted, “I should probably take Kleenex to my meeting with the Accountess.” Anna quipped, “If she works with women and money, she probably has Kleenex.” Sure enough, not only did Tina have tissue, she claims it as a business expense!

Mindset, Marketing & Money … and Mentors

2010-02-24T12:29:00.001-08:00

I have been longing for mentoring in business. I have mentors in the areas of spiritual life, education, writing, but need a stronger connection with women who understand business and know how to achieve work-life balance—contemporary Proverbs 31 women. I want mentors—even a whole community—who know when to protectively tuck me under her wing and when to swiftly kick me out of the nest.

I think I found them.

Today’s first major conversation involved a variety of women via a conference call to introduce a new training series by Kim Page Gluckie of MPowered Marketing, Stephanie Pollock of Inspired Coaching, and Tina Pratt of The Accountess.

The call and the website do a great job of introducing the series, so I won’t outline it here. What I will do is tell you how these ladies have helped me so far.

#1. When I moved to Calgary mid-November, my first goal was closer proximity to my boyfriend Kevin. The long distance relationship thing was killing us. Check. I found a room to rent just 5 minutes from him.

#2. My second (and overarching) goal was to clarify and establish my business in order to make a living. Check-ish. I’ve got lots of streams for generating revenue: books (Martha, BlueBeary) and CDs to sell, workshops to present, concerts to perform, and more.

But transition is never easy, especially with a car accident (Dec 6th), with unsuccessful attempts to find part-time work that supplement the self-employment. Stressful. Without good coverage on the bottom line, I would swing wildly between highly motivated to get bookings and sales or deeply depressed and exhausted from lifting a ton of feathers. Some days, if it wasn’t for chiropractic and massage appointments (thank you SGI) or going to see Kevin, I don’t know when I would have left the house!

Enter Kim Page Gluckie.

Before moving to Calgary, I searched online for resources and events to help with Goal #2. I must have used search words like “women” and “entrepreneurs” and “calgary” and “se”. Somehow, MPowered Marketing surfaced. So I took Kim’s online survey and registered for her November 18th event: “Time & Money Are Limited Resources: Make marketing choices that save both!” That event energized me so much! I stayed to help Kim clean up and we had a good chat.

A few days later I went to Vancouver to work with Kathleen McMillan on BlueBeary and Open Eyes Books, eager to be serious about our business.

From Kim I learned about Stephanie Pollock, so took advantage of her free half-hour consultation, during which we especially talked about overcoming my “fear of the ask.”

From these ladies I’ve gleaned valuable Information through their blog posts and resource links on their websites.

Through Kim’s MPowered Marketing and Stephanie’s Inspired Coaching I’ve started developing community with other women/mom entrepreneurs through in-person contacts and social networking like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

The special guest at the December 16th workshop was Paula McGarrigle, author of A Baby Guide to Calgary. I just knew I should be there. Again, I was inspired, and we had opportunity to pitch our business & products. I also got a kick in the butt from Paula, who was impressed with BlueBeary and asked, “Are you in Monkey Shines?” (a local children’s bookstore). “No,” I said, “I’ve only been in the city for a month.” Paul replied, “That’s no excuse.” And she was right. BlueBeary was in Monkey Shines AND in Owl’s Nest by the end of the week.

And I got to meet Stephanie Pollock in person that night. I also got to meet Tina Pratt aka The Accountess. Score.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Tina to talk about finances.

By Sunday midnight I will claim my $300 discount and register for one of the 7 Series …

Here we go!

still conversing

2010-02-24T01:44:00.001-08:00

Conversation 1:

“Are you still doing the ‘2 Conversations’ blog? It’s a great goal.”

Rosie Perera asked this last week. Yes, I replied, I just got out of it. It’s a huge commitment, not just to have two conversations, but to report on them also. Well, here I am, listening to Brooke Fraser, a young lady who is certainly making a difference in the world. For example, her song/video Albertine.

But I digress. Brooke and I have not yet had a conversation—in person or via social media.

Rosie, on the other hand, is someone with whom I have been having interpersonal conversations for more than a decade. I was thinking that this picture from another friend’s Facebook page could be submitted as evidence, but realized that Rosie isn’t tagged. Hmmm. When did she come to Regent? Anyhow, I was there: the blonde in pink sweatshirt sitting directly in the front row.

So last week on Ash Wednesday, Rosie and I had a scheduled phone conversation. She’s doing important spiritual formation work during Lent, using this church year season as a transitional phase, working with a life coach with focus on purposefully living out a sense of vocation, which involves helping others learn to live well with technology. One means is writing, for example.

We talked about reclaiming sleep:

In vain you rise early
       and stay up late,
       toiling for food to eat—
       for he grants sleep to those he loves.

(Psalm 127:2)

We talked about good use of technology and I suggested that perhaps I should cut out non-essential internet use, especially internet game playing. “You won’t miss it,” noted Rosie. She did this one year. “I was free to go back to it after but had no desire anymore: that is so not nurturing of my person.”

Conversation 2:

I’ve been having lots of smaller conversations within a larger conversation about women and creativity leading up to a mini-conference in Calgary this weekend: www.siretona.com/beauty.html.

I had been longing for a gathering like this, but wasn’t sure where to host it. Then last Wednesday I was arranging to do presentations at Chateau Renoir Retirement Residence, and the Activity Director mentioned that they encourage community groups to use their spaces, which include 2 board rooms, a theatre room, and the lobby with grand piano. So, I immediately booked some space for a couple of events this Saturday, did up a poster, webpage and Facebook events and presto! Afternoon mini-conference (Creative Women: Blooming, Birthing & Beauty), dinner for the women, and an evening concert!

Ah, but who would come? I invited more than 300 women from my Facebook friends list. Not all of them live in or near Calgary, but I felt they should know about this.

Tonight Stacy called, excited about this event. After a half hour conversation, she prayed for me and I am now extremely curious to see what God has in store for the day.

Already, there are conversations with people in other locales about doing Creative Women there: Slave Lake, Medicine Hat, Caronport.

Hmmm …

new events, fundraisers

2010-02-10T03:23:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Terri, counselor, email.

I’m going to BC at the end of March. So far I have two events confirmed on Vancouver Island: a church service and concert in Victoria on Sunday, March 28th, and a concert in Courtenay, BC on Friday the 26th. Both are fundraisers for houses that help women: Women’s Transition House of Victoria and Stepping Stones House for Women in Courtenay.I loooove making a difference with things like this!

For other events coming up, visit http://colleenanddara.com/schedule.html.

Conversation: Dale, dog breeder/adoptive mom/soon-to-be children’s author. Dale and I talked about when we can get together, how she can find time to write, and where to find the money to publish her first (and three following) children’s books about adoption.

why seek conversations

2010-02-09T01:09:00.001-08:00

Loneliness can be a problem for entrepreneurs.

“A 2007 study by researchers at the University of Michigan even showed that just ten minutes of small talk improved study participants’ cognitive abilities.” (Blogtrepreneur, Feb 8, 2010).

One of the blessings in disguise that came from my December car accident: receiving regular chiropractic and massage treatments has forced me to get out of the house. It’s easy to get stuck and end up spinning my wheels. Today I got out to the chiropractor and had the nicest chat with his assistant. Came home energized and motivated to make a hard phone call which was frustrating and was anything BUT small talk.

Conversation: Last Thursday I had a Very Important Meeting. In many ways, it was like stepping into my own private Dragon’s Den. I had kind of hoped for this person to become a business mentor and/or an investor in the Open Eyes book series. I didn’t necessarily walk away with either one that day. He gave me valuable critique and challenge, a 79 page workbook for creating a business plan and an invitation to show it to him when I’m done.

Conversation: I love my family. My brother’s wedding in Strasbourg, SK was a wonderful reason to gather with family from both sides and thoroughly enjoy one another far too late into the night on both Friday and Saturday. Delightful. Most grateful to Kevin for driving—and for enjoying my family, too.

Conversation: Kevin had a meeting tonight, so it was nice to stay home and have a visit with my landlady/roommate, to give perspective and encouragement for each other’s situations. We prayed together before she went to bed.

Conversation: Sue (the Accidental Poet/Housewife) and I have been invited to give workshops at the same conference in April. Neither of us has given a clear yes yet, but we’ve both been there before and would love to travel there together should we say yes. She called tonight to chat about that and to marvel at her experiences with being a significant person in the lives of several teens on the weekend. “Who is raising these children?” she asked. I marvel with her and thank God that she is who she is and where she is.

C.S. Lewis said that we read to know we are not alone. However, basic email and social networking doesn’t do the trick. I am generally an introvert (much to most people’s surprise), who needs solitude to recharge. However, I also need fresh air, human interaction, and a reason to get up in the morning. Sometimes that reason is best if it’s extrinsic, outside myself: another’s voice, another’s need. I seek conversations to know that I am not alone.

Break … Forth/down/through

2010-02-03T23:50:00.001-08:00

What is a breakthrough? In the midst of longing for one, I find myself often breaking down, like poor little Peter Rabbit.

“He found a door in a wall; but it was locked, and there was no room for a fat little rabbit to squeeze underneath.

“An old mouse was running in and out over the stone doorstep, carrying peas and beans to her family in the wood. Peter asked her the way to the gate, but she had such a large pea in her mouth that she could not answer. She only shook her head at him. Peter began to cry.”

I took a few days off. First for Break Forth, which was amazing. Then for wallowing in self-pity.

Self-pity? Where did that come from? I don’t know, but it was two days in a paralyzing pit of filth. I had conversations. I could have reported my quota filled, but wallowed instead. It happens. Apparently not as often when one’s gratitude discipline is intact:

“The study required several hundred people in three different groups to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day, while the second group recorded their unpleasant experiences. The last group made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another.” (source; found at this blog)

The crazy thing is that all my wallowing and paralysis was catalyzed a simple misunderstanding on Sunday afternoon!

No, that’s not entirely true. I spent the weekend with friends from Strasbourg Alliance Church and the first two days were exhillarating—being reunited with these friends and others, running into all kinds of people I hadn’t expected to see. But on Sunday, that little misperception cracked the dam and I cried like a baby. I think I was feeling homesick for Strasbourg, for relationships that are not still brand new. Sigh. Fortunately, the misunderstanding got cleared up yesterday, leaving me feeling a bit sheepish.

So here’s a list of conversations I was grateful to have over the weekend and since—conversations both about work and private life, about God and prayer, conversations with God in prayer …

Glenda
Heather
Mark
Gerald
Brad
Lori
Nancy
Margie
Barb
Beth
Darryl
Leonard
Gayle
Roxanne
Blake
Jen
Josh
Curtis
more …

On Monday, I was sluggish, like I’d been hit by the proverbial truck. Even so, the day was not a write-off as I interacted with Cathy my SGI car insurance adjuster, Calvin who gave me a quote on a printing job, Mom about the upcoming wedding weekend for my brother, and Joyce about spiritual direction.

On Tuesday, I had more interaction with Cathy, Calvin & Mom.

Also on Tuesday, I had a real telephone conversation with Kathleen (she called me) in which I told her all my woes and she listened and prayed, then exhorted me from Beatrix Potter: “When Peter Rabbit was caught in the net in the garden, the little birds came and ‘implored him to exert himself.’”

We both agreed to exert ourselves and made a plan for doing so. By the end of the day, in addition to tutoring and watching the movie “Amazing Grace” with Kevin and Stephanie, I had accomplished these things.

Oh! And I received two Minus 40 Tour DVDs in the mail from Ray Lacusta! The 14m30s documentary aired twice last week in an episode of “15 Minutes of Fame” on SCN television (Saskatchewan Community Network) and eventually will be available to watch online (season 4, episode 21 or 22). So I watched it once myself then again with Kevin & Stephanie. Strange and wonderful to seeing oneself on screen like that. Ray did a nice job.

Today (Wednesday)

made a phone call to book a very important meeting for tomorrow afternoon.
made another phone call to my mother.
received a curriculum vitae and dissertation abstract from one friend to pass on by way of introduction to another friend
received invitation to compose a soundtrack for a television documentary
and more …

Kevin & Steph & I went to Okotoks for kids club at the church and we were so silly on the way home. It felt good to laugh and made me look forward to traveling to Saskatchewan together this weekend.

I have so much to be grateful for. There has not been a dramatic breakthrough (yet?), but there have been many ordinary and even extraordinary graces. I will keep putting one step in front of the other (literally and figuratively), moving through life attentive and grateful for the little things.

ladies who launch

2010-01-29T01:01:00.001-08:00

It never seems to end!...the business building stage [is] an unraveling story, so thank goodness it isn't ending. ~ Ladies Who Launch, page 186

Even your bills are cause for celebration because they are evidence of [&] receipts from a life well lived. ~ Ladies Who Launch, page 205

I hardly slept last night. Too much to think about and do. Too many papers to sort. Too many projects to dream and execute. No time to eat properly, exercise, sleep. Later, the word “unraveling” really resonated with me. On the way to see the chiropractor, I had a cry. Couldn’t hold it in. Those emotions are no good held inside, so I let them out.

Conversation: Called my friend Sherry for a pep talk. She listened, prayed, & helped me figure out just ONE key goal for today. Whew.

Conversation: Sometimes you just need cheer & an ear. I also talked to Lisa & received some cheer. Gave her chords to a song.

Chiro helped, too.

Conversation: When Dr. Melrose walked into the room he could tell I was tired. “It looks like your brain is working overtime,” he commented. He was right. I was honest with him and his assistant that today didn’t feel like a good day. Healing can be like that. His assistant Bev recommended a walk along the Glenmore Reservoir. I did—just 10 minutes, but it was so refreshing. Would have walked longer but couldn’t find my keys! Rushed back to the car to find them hanging in the lock. Oops! At least I didn’t have to coat hanger the door!

The day got better from there.

Went to a coffeeshop to finish reading Ladies Who Launch. This has been a very important book for my entrepreneurial journey and I have savoured it, digesting slowly, and texting nuggets to Twitter and Facebook.

Realized for sure that I need to go to Breakforth. Posted about that ephiphany on www.siretona.blogspot.com: “say yes to change.”

Conversation: Speaking of tweets, Kathleen announced good news: Once Upon a Huckleberry Bush (children’s books) in Vancouver wants to feature us at book fair Monday and they need more books. Kathleen send three batches! (I have no idea how many are in a batch, but it’s certainly more than one!)

Conversation: Called Shelley L about my Breakforth ticket. Learned that she watched Dara & I on SCN’s 15 Minutes of Fame last night & liked it. Can't wait to see it myself! Dara doesn’t get SCN either.

Conversation: Dara emailed about the documentary (among other things).

I have had a number of people tell me how wonderful the premier of our doc was last night and am anxiously waiting for my dad to come up on the weekend to show me it.

He and Charlotte, along with Ray and a few others watched it with a supper night and celebration last night in Yorkton - yay!

Conversation: Kevin and I got together for the first time since Sunday. I served supper to him and my landlady/roommate and her 3-year-old granddaughter who adored Kevin. I love watching him with kids. After supper we went to his place where we had a good talk then harmonized our calendars. So simple and important to make sure we’re connected in these ways.

What a day. It started out overwhelming and precarious. It ended peaceful, fulfilling.

The others, the ones who go to the edges, who reach for the remarkable and do work that feels risky—these are the entrepreneurs who thrive. …

I was on the brink of bankruptcy for more than five years. No cash flow, living week to week, paychecks on the verge of bouncing. Sticking that out, not looking for shortcuts or quick hits or panicking… that was the most difficult challenge I’ve ever overcome in business. …

You say, “Art is about intent and communication, not substance.” In your opinion, what is the best way to create and distribute (market) art that is effective?
Change people. Connect with them and deliver something that transforms their day or their week or their life. You do art when you free a housekeeper to get paid fairly, or a mom to have an hour to herself. Not with standardized business practice, but by being honest and human.

~ Seth Godin in Ladies Who Launch Magazine

a simpler day, but no less important

2010-01-28T02:53:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Calvin Plum of Leading Edge Printing Services. Calvin & I grew up going to camp together at Arlington Beach. He printed the inserts for my first CD, Good Storyline, in 2000 when he still owned Optima printing company. Now, instead of operating scanners and printers, he offers printing services in the form of consulting and project management. We had a good chat about some of my potential printing needs, including a project I need to quote on.

Conversation: Melanie, a very creative lady who started attending Okotoks Alliance Church around the same time I did. Melanie is already a very talented visual artist, working in mixed media and jewelery. She’s got a lot of raw talent for songwriting. One of these days I hope to unveil a website of her work. For now we encourage, support and cheer each other through our personal and vocational transitions. I’ve been procrastinating another conversation, which I’m to initiate by email. She’s waiting for me to report that I’ve done it…

Conversation: Kathleen, of course. Email. Business names—registration options; voice over studio; another paid booking came through. Recalling serendipitous events from the summer buoys our confidence.

Conversation: Kevin. Surprisingly we haven’t seen each other since Sunday and haven’t really had a conversation since Saturday. We chatted for a few minutes this evening and he asked about my successes. I reported on the above. I also sorted a lot of papers today… and have a lot more to go.

One success that’s not business related: Kevin’s looking for new steel-toed work boots, but he needs some special features. Turns out it’s hard to satisfy his needs, but I discovered a shoe store today and had an excellent, informative conversation with a certified pedorthist (see also this). Who knew there was such a thing? Certainly not my spell checker!

P.S. There’s a new post on the Siretona blog about Rebekah Joy Plett and how we knew she was “the one” to illustrate BlueBeary’s series.

catching up … on sleep!

2010-01-27T01:25:00.001-08:00

I’m several days behind. Oops. No excuses for slipping this far, though there was a birthday party for a recently-turned 11-year-old, with 16 guests, an intensive bear-stuffing-and-decorating craft, a movie (Kit Kitteridge), and a sleepover where hardly anyone slept. One guest proclaimed to me, “Steph always has the best birthday parties of the whole year!” and “This [bear] is the best craft ever!” Kudos to Steph’s dad for establishing such a strong birthday-party-throwing reputation. Then there was about 12 hours of novel contract homework with said 11-year-old on Sunday, where she worked on the related tasks while her dad and I took turns reading the novel aloud to her. Dad had a meeting in the evening so I stayed to feed and read to the sweet, busy girl.

View Full Album

And on top of this, I’ve been having LOTS of conversations about books and music, but mostly books. So here’s a review of the key conversations:

FRIDAY

Conversation: email, Peggy, Vice Principal of Harry Sayers School in Abbotsford, booked Kathleen for a full day of presentations in May at our full asking price. A very good moment!

Conversation: email, Lynette of PicPocket Books. I sent her all of the files for BlueBeary.

Conversationsssssssss: Kathleen was on fire catching up on her emails! I received about 20 messages from her in one day!

MONDAY

Conversation: my massage therapist declared that I’m doing very well with recovering from December’s car accident and that she believes I’ll come out of this healing process stronger than I was before this whiplash. We talked about how I’ll need to learn to hold the guitar differently and that it will be better than ever.

Conversation: Kathleen Busch in Victoria. This was a simple conversation via email:

ME: Still want me [to sing] for the weekend of Palm Sunday? I made a decision on the weekend that frees up most of my weekends from now until Easter.

HER: Yup!

Conversation: A timely email led to a very late Skype call with my friend Crystal in China. We talked about goals for personal growth and business. And as it was a video call, I was able to see her two younger children dance and prance around where the camera could see them. :)

TUESDAY

Conversation: Mike Michalowiz: my contribution to the Toilet Paper Entrepreneur blog was posted today: http://bit.ly/BizIdeas. Scroll down looking for the icon of BlueBeary.

Conversation: Kathleen by phone, trying to figure out Twitter’s relationship to her Facebook accounts, generally catching up.

Conversation: Roy Salmond of Whitewater Studios in BC, by phone, about the possibility of doing the iPhone app voiceover in his studio. What is a voiceover? It’s the narration of the story—the reading soundtrack to go with the pictures. We’re planning that Kathleen will do her own voiceovers.

Interestingly, Roy & his wife know our illustrator Rebekah’s family quite well. Another potentially amazing connection: Roy’s wife Gayle is a children’s writer, working primarily with Wind and Tide, apparently the largest preschool company in Canada. She has written some curriculum and children’s books for them, and has done four albums of songs & vignettes. Hmmm … Roy & I talked about other possible formats and applications for the voiceover. Whether we end up recording in Roy’s studio or now, this was like a valuable 1/2 hour free consultation!

You know there were more, but technically it’s Wednesday already and I’m yawning, so it’s time for me to sleep in order to get up and have more conversations tomorrow!

video+, PubStock, contract

2010-01-22T00:49:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Kathleen McMillan, email & phone.

The emails have been flying today! You might say, “Of course,” but there was quite a gap before, during, and after Christmas when Kathleen and I hardly talked or emailed at all. But we’re into production mode for the iPhone app, booking mode for schools and fairs, and we’re constantly updating the website and promo tools. Here’s a new video we just posted on YouTube:

Conversation: Carley at BookManager, phone & email.

I have placed books in several stores, some of which have an online catalogue. Every so often I browse the catalogue to look for our books, but they never show up. Today I looked at Monkeyshines and Owl’s Nest Books in Calgary, and Book & Brier Patch in Regina, but none of them listed the book(s) I placed there.

Suddenly it dawned on me that they all had something in common: a BookManager link! Hmmm. So I clicked on the link, browsed the site a bit, then picked up the phone. Carley was most helpful. TitleLink is a free service. PubStock is a comprehensive service requiring a yearly fee, but considering that some of the bookstores we’re in are either on this list or use BookManager for most of their ordering (i.e. McNally Robinson in Saskatoon), and that there are lots more stores to approach on BookManager’s list, this service will be MORE than worthwhile. A gold mine, perhaps? I hope so. Certainly BookManager blends the best of all worlds: the local bookstore and online ordering. Love it. Eager to get listed!

Conversation: Lynette Mattke of PicPocket Books. We now have a personalized agreement, ready for Kathleen to sign.

the click and the connection

2010-01-21T03:45:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Heidi Clay, email. I like to call Heidi “my personal dragon,” because she once prefaced some great advice with, “Well, if we were on Dragons’ Den I would tell you…”

We met in Strasbourg. Early on she bought a BlueBeary book for her little girl, who loved it because her name is Samantha just like the main character in the book. In our emails today, Heidi and I talked about what businesses catch on and which ones.

Me to Heidi: “So excited about how your Kindermusik business is growing! It's interesting, isn't it, how we can be in one business [like the same network marketing biz we were both in] and know that other people are making a living or even a killing with it but we can't seem to get enough traction, no matter how much we believe in the product. Then along comes something that seems to have a magical click for us—like Kindermusik for you and BlueBeary for me. Suddenly motivation is less of an issue and it feels so much more natural to think of and pursue leads and do the work involved.”

Heidi to me: “I really know what you mean about struggling with one business and then something else just clicking and taking off. My Kindermusik program has its own life and energy, I just have to keep up with it! And its not hard to keep going, and find opportunities, I LOVE IT!”

Conversation: Lynette Mattke of PicPocket Books, email. Ironing out contract details for converting BlueBeary to an iPhone application for sale on iTunes. “I think we should schedule another phone conversation to smooth out these next set of details,” wrote Lynette. “I do really look forward to working with you. I feel a nice connection growing. :)”

I feel exactly the same way.

arts and iPhones

2010-01-20T01:09:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Lori Youngman—more hashing through ideas for her Breakforth workshops on prophetic painting. We also talked at length about some of my dreams for helping women in the arts with community & mentoring. Oh such big dreams! God-given dreams …

Conversation: Kathleen McMillan called while I was on the phone with Lori. We haven’t had a voice-to-voice talk in far too long! We revisited our goals, and prioritized our upcoming activities:

Sign the agreement with PicPocket Books to convert BlueBeary into an iPhone/iPod Touch application and sell on iTunes!!! Kathleen will do the voice over.
Book presentations in schools, primarily for Kathleen (Lower Mainland BC), secondarily for me.
Get books in stores to be available after school readings.
Arrange book signings for Kathleen in stores, esp. in BC.

Promote Your Page Too

serendipity and support

2010-01-18T23:58:00.001-08:00

“Writing on one’s own blog is the easy route in so many ways. Deadlines and topics are self-imposed.”

~ Seth Daire, http://www.christianimagination.com/2010/01/03/writing-in-2010/

It’s Monday and I suppose I should write a new post. Not that I have nothing to write about, but sometimes a commitment to reporting is a burden rather than an anticipation.

Officially, I give myself one or two days off from seeking conversations. But sometimes the less you look for or engineer something, the more serendipitously it comes to you.

Conversation: Yesterday, as part of my Sabbath intention, I didn’t turn on the computer, but I did not take the business cards out of my purse.

Business cards are helpful little shortcuts for explaining what I do. Sometimes I will hold back, especially at church: I don’t want to turn ‘fellowship’ into opportunistic ‘networking’. However, over lunch with Roger & Holly and their daughter, I couldn’t resist passing a card to this fascinating grade 12 student who is already excelling in creative writing and wants also to be a marine biologist. I recommended some Madeleine L’Engle books to feed both interests, such as The Arm of the Starfish. She has already read A Wrinkle in Time and Many Waters. It was fun to feel that this conversation might help to “empower a [young] woman in the arts.”

Conversations: On Sunday morning I woke up with sharp, constant pain in my mid-back. Fortunately, today I had both chiropractic and massage appointments, back to back. After a very bad sleep, I was exhausted. During a very gentle chiropractic movement where Dr. Melrose pressed on a cushion on my chest, I started to cry, as if he was squeezing out sadness. He consulted with Alexandria, the massage therapist, advising her on how to proceed with my poor body, then advised me “behave yourself” and “no lifting.”

Face down in Alexandria’s room I confessed, “I’m feeling emotional.” She responded, “That’s alright. You just have a good cry if you need to. Those emotions aren’t doing you any good held inside. And you can talk about it if you want to.” So I wept, and I talked, and ended up having a bit of a counseling session along with the physical ministrations. Really, our bodies are so interconnected, whose idea was it to separate the body from the spirit? Gnostics? Fellow Regent College grad, Kirsten Jeffrey, struggles with some serious health issues and, as only a person with chronic illness can do, has some profound reflections on the importance of body:

“I nonetheless think that neither a faith-shaped worldview (ie me) nor a non-faith worldview (many of my dear friends) cohesively allows for a “well, our bodies don’t *really* matter” perspective. Not if your belief system – Christian, atheist, or otherwise -- is thought through logically. Our bodies do matter. They are more than simply the vehicles that carry us through the day – yet even in that role as vehicles, how they do or do not function has great impact on our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual engagement with the world.”

Alexandria also asked, “If you were at home [i.e. Saskatchewan], who would you be talking to and turning to for support?” I told her “my girl friends.” She suggested that I need some conversations with girlfriends. Which leads to my next serendipity:

Conversation: Sue called me today. She is my favourite poet and knitting machine, Sue, aka the Accidental Poet/Housewife. She is also one of those kindred spirits with whom I have experienced instant connection. She was calling to invite me to present a one-hour session on creativity at Inscribe’s Spring Wordshop (not a typo) on March 20th at First Alliance Church in Calgary. Most gladly, I accepted the invitation. Also gladly, I welcomed the opportunity for a visit with Sue. Her voice and her perspective were balm for my soul. Thank you, Sue. And thank you, God, for ‘sending’ Sue today.

Oh, and an online conversation: I’m looking for ideas on how to promote and sell Notes from Over the Hill (www.marthamorgan.ca). Thanks in advance!

books and bears and a car

2010-01-17T01:44:00.001-08:00

Multiple conversations: Yesterday was packed with a lot of practical considerations, especially relating to getting a car. There were calls to the dealer/garage, Worth Unlimited, about the car itself; calls to & from Toole-Peet about insurance (personal or commercial classification?); calls to & from the auto auction place that will be picking up my written-off Crown Victoria.

Conversation: Kevin has been urging me for a couple of weeks to call Chapters/Indigo. So I called a couple of locations about getting BlueBeary and/or Notes from Over the Hill in Calgary stores. Unfortunately—though reasonably—they only consign books if the author is around to do a booksigning and help drive sales. That’s out of the question for Martha, who is 88 years young. It’s a possibility down the road for Kathleen.

I already knew that Chapters/Indigo is not the right place to start. A few weeks ago I attended a presentation by Paula McGarrigle of A Baby Guide to Calgary. Her book is into its 3rd printing, with nearly 10,000 copies sold (5000 = bestseller). Chapters/Indigo came later in their marketing strategy. So it will be with us.

Really, what I need to do is get books into BC stores and get Kathleen doing booksignings there as well as speaking in Lower Mainland elementary schools. That alone would keep us all busy.

Conversation: I had a final sewing session with Kevin’s mom, prepping bears for Stephanie’s birthday party. It went quite smoothly and we finished ahead of our estimated finishing time. This was a crazy idea. But I believe it will be worth it in the end.

old friends and new

2010-01-14T23:51:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Lori Youngman, by phone. Lori and I met at Briercrest. She is an artist, ordained minister, educator, and business woman. Her husband, Dale, owns Page Master Publication Services.

Lori is one of this year’s presenters at Breakforth in Edmonton. Her topic: Prophetic Painting. She called me to bounce some ideas around. I’ve posted some thoughts from our conversation on my other blog.

It was good to be reconnected with an old friend.

Conversation: Doug Waugh, by phone. Goal: Find a replacement car. Doug is the head mechanic at Worth Unlimited, a non-profit ministry of Youth for Christ Calgary. Earlier today I received an email that someone is coming for my written-off Crown Victoria “in a few days.” Yikes! I wrote back that (a) I haven’t found a replacement car yet and (b) I don’t have the insurance money in hand yet, so could they wait? Apparently not.

So I got on Kijiji and looked at car after car after car in my price range. For some reason I had in my head that I want a station wagon, so I especially looked for those. And I found one!

The price is right. And two of the best things about it: (a) it’s through Youth for Christ! (b) I know the head mechanic. Doug used to be at Caronport, we remembered each other, and we had the nicest talk.

I expect Kevin and I will pick up the car this weekend.

Conversation: Juliane, Jimmy and Kevin, in person. Kevin & I went out with my friend, Juliane, and her boyfriend tonight. It was great to catch up and to share about our lives and work. I talked about my need to get established, to gain traction and get rolling with my products!

Other conversations: Lots of emails with authors and illustrators, present and future. So many possibilities. Where will it all go?

p.s.

2010-01-14T01:15:00.001-08:00

I also introduced myself to a preschool director in Cranston, gave her a copy of BlueBeary, and talked to her about:

(a) the possibility of doing a presentation at her school;

(b) whether I could put a flyer in the children’s mail boxes (she said yes, if I do a presentation;

This visit was an afterthought and was very encouraging.

arts, technology, business, and tribe

2010-01-14T00:56:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Pastor Tim Korthius, Okotoks Alliance Church, in person. Goal: Training for media services—sound, lights, PowerPoint. I’ve always wanted to get some training and experience in running sound, so this is a fun opportunity! Apparently I ask good questions.

Conversation: Melanie, in person. Goal: give her vocal coaching for better support and to help her learn her alto lines for the choir songs. We started with lunch (we each brought something to share), then moved to the piano and worked on breathing, diaphragm support, and the harmony line for one song. We also talked about relationships, parenting, art, and illustrating children’s books.

Conversation: Dale, by phone. She’s going for it! She has officially announced (via Facebook) that she’s making a career change from counselor to writer, with several publishing opportunities presenting themselves. And … she has announced Siretona as her publisher for one series! I’m so excited about this. We’ve known each other for years, since she was my student at Briercrest. She is one of those students who went on to become a dear friend, and now colleague.

Conversation: Kevin, in person. He has been urging me to call Chapters/Indigo and more Coles locations about my books. I’ve been a little overwhelmed by the thought! But he’s right. I need to get OUT THERE with my products!!!

Conversation: Courtney, in person. We went for coffee while Kevin & Stephanie were at Club DJ at the church. She is another Briercrest alumna, but she never took any of my classes. We talked about Courtney’s life overseas and about business/work opportunities, esp. what’s happening with Siretona Creative.

kids books, chiropractor

2010-01-12T23:07:00.001-08:00

Conversation: Sandi, by phone. Goal: To talk about the 7 children’s books Sandi has written and determine whether we might be a good fit to work together. It was a most delightful and encouraging conversation. Sandi is in Manitoba. Her sister in BC got a copy of BlueBeary and loved it, so gave my name to Sandi, who contacted me several weeks ago, hence our conversation today. Her stories are fun, yet they are laced with references to things that Sandi finds meaningful and valuable, like church and family and community. I love it! There are questions of timing and money on both sides. We would very much like to work together, but Sandi will do a bit more research before either of us commits. She read one of her stories aloud, and the fun names alone make it appealing! Whatever happens, Sandi said our meeting felt like a divine appointment, and she kept speaking words of blessing over me. I am so honoured.

Conversation: Dale, in person. Goal: Dale & I are old friends, so we just wanted to get together and hang out, but we also wanted to talk about what’s important in our lives. I especially wanted to discuss Dale’s idea for a children’s book and her other writing ideas. She’s a gifted lady with much to impart. I’m excited to see what she does. For the moment, she’s being a great mom to her two little guys.

Conversation: my chiropractor, in person. Goal: Talk about my readiness to do a concert on Saturday. He told me, “Play for 20 minutes tonight. If it hurts, you won’t make it for an hour on Saturday. If it doesn’t, you’re good to go.” Well, I played for 20 minutes, and it was not good. I am going to postpone this concert. We could use a bit more time to plan it anyhow.

in camera

2010-01-11T23:31:00.001-08:00

A question came to me today: What is the line between name dropping and reporting? There must be something qualitative: it doesn’t feel right, maybe it’s downright distasteful, yet it’s hard to put a finger on.

I do not intend to be a name dropper in this blog. I do intend to report on my activities in attempting to promote this business of Siretona Creative. I also intend to do appropriate cross-promotion. But if I ever stoop to name-dropping, please somebody call me on it!!!

On with today’s conversations:

Conversation: My chiropractor, Dr. Scott Melrose. Goals: (1) to rehabilitate me from whiplash sustained on December 6th, and (2) to determine whether I’m ready to play a full concert on Saturday. I played guitar for quite awhile at Christmas and was fine, but the locus of pain has shifted from upper back to neck and on Friday I tried to play but could hardly get through one song without extreme discomfort and numbness. He told me, “You’re 50/50 right now for being ready to play. Come back tomorrow. In the meantime, ice it 3 times, do these stretches, and take this natural anti-inflammatory this much and this often.” Seems better already.
Conversation: George, Bernice & Olga, 3 senior citizens, in person, Glenmore Landing Starbucks. Goal: Talk about Martha Morgan’s book. I was enjoying my coffee and doing some personal business, when suddenly it occurred tome to offer book marks to the seniors behind me. They seemed interested in Martha. Turns out they are Starbucks crawlers and could tell me exactly how many shops there are in Vancouver! As we chatted, we discovered a Caronport connection: George was a Saskatchewan boy from Swift Current and had attended Caronport High School back in the day—the 1940s. So we talked about Saskatchewan and Caronport, and people we knew in common, several decades apart. We talked about how George & Bernice have been married for 57 years. We talked about Olga’s Ukranian background and Ukranian Christmas traditions. It was delightful. Who knows if they buy books or book a concert. I certainly suggested it more than once, but didn’t push it, as we had such a delightfully human conversation.
Conversation: Carol W., in person, Glenmore Landing Good Earth. Goal: Get to know each other and find out how we might fit into one another’s worlds. A mutual friend had introduced us via email, so we took his recommendation seriously and had a lunch date. I showed her my products (BlueBeary, Notes from Over the Hill, and Minus 40 Tour CD). She said, “I know some people you need to meet,” and proceeded to dictate names, short bios, and contact info. Talked about art, friends, family, Bible study, Regent College, business mentorship, funding possibilities, and getting together again sooner than later! She urged me to get a membership at the Calgary Public Library, which was on my list of things to do, but is now higher up. She also urged me to finish writing a business plan (it’s kind of drafted). She’s going to Vancouver and Regent tomorrow, so took a sample of each product for the Regent Bookstore manager.
- Follow-up: Called and/or emailed several of the people Carol recommended.
Conversation: Kevin’s mom, in person. Goal: refine our pattern for stuffed BlueBearys and increase production. She cut out nearly 20 brown bottoms while I designed the face (fiddly work) and sewed two by hand, then sewed up one bear. I haven’t sewn in nearly 20 years, so I’m on a learning curve. It has to get better! We’ll have another go at it tomorrow. Had the Flames vs. Avalanche game on in the background. Bonding time in every way. :)
Conversations: There were the usual slate of emails, but it felt so good to have so many face-to-face conversations!

paving the road

2010-01-10T00:34:00.001-08:00

“You can think all day, all week, or all year about a hobby, dream, goal, or business you’d like to delve into, but until you talk about it, you’re much less accountable. By projecting and communicating a clear vision and message, you pave the road for further action and bring others (the listener) into your community, whether they become a part of its actualization or not. Once words escape your lips into the receptive ears of another human being, what was once a lonely voice in your head is now a formulated, debatable, accepted, rejected, or more literal aspiration.”

Ladies Who Launch, p. 170

Conversation: Grant McMillan, via email. Goal: Find means to facilitate project communication. Google Wave anyone. Grant sent a link for this Wave praise. Need to look more closely, but it has tremendous collaborative potential.

Conversation: Kathleen McMillan, via email. Goal: develop more ideas for BlueBeary.

Conversations: Voters on IndieHeaven, via Facebook and email. Goals: (1) raise the song through the Fan Faves chart [#17 today], and (2) invite other people to share memories of their own grandmothers. Here are two lovely notes.

I remember her laugh, her sideways look at people who were being funny, her love for God. I remember the fudge she made every year for Christmas. She just passed away in 2007 at the age of 103 ... she lost her mother at age 6 and was a widow for 51 years. She experienced much loss but always kept her sense of humor... when she got macular degeneration (limited her eye sight)... she said it was better because now she couldn't see the dust and someone else would have to look after it :)
I remember the first time I saw my Mennonite Grandma take her long hair out of a bun:) I was just a little girl and fascinated by how long her hair actually was! Then, she got down on her knees and began praying in German! I pretended to be asleep but I'm sure she knew I was awake! She was SO sincere and earnest and I knew she had a wonderful talk with Jesus that night! I wanted to be just like her when I grew up:) Thanks again, Grandma:) (She died years ago and I still think of her amazing love for God:)

Conversation: Raymond Lacusta, via email. Subject: his documentary about the Minus 40 Tour will air on SCN (Saskatchewan Community Network) 15 Minutes of Fame on Jan 27 and 31, and will be available afterwards on the internet!

Conversations: Shopping trip with Mama and 3 young girls, in person. Goal: Buy for fabric and notions to make the birthday bears. Successful! 3 different kinds of fuzzy blue for the top, 2 kinds of brown for the bottom, sequined ribbon for the belt, and felt for the faces. Later I started cutting some bodies while the girls designed faces and cut the belts.

Conversation: myself, via reading Ladies Who Launch. Goal: personal and business development. See quote at beginning of post.

that was better

2010-01-08T00:03:00.001-08:00

Today was much clearer in many ways. I’m going to put the last conversation first, just because it was so much fun.

Conversation: Stephanie & her grandma, in person. Goal: Test run a project. Stephanie’s having a birthday party soon and we decided that the main event should be a craft. We’ll be making bears based on BlueBeary.
View Full Album

Stephanie and I got together with her grandma to make a trial bear. First we had to find material in the closet (corduroy), then recreate the pattern that Kathleen had scanned & emailed with some difficulty. As this was a trial, we made lots of errors, like sewing the face on AFTER we sewed the back and front together, so we had to work through a small gap in the bear’s side where the stuffing should go in. Oops! Even though it took us 2.5 hours to complete this crazy project (it will go faster for the next 17 or so bears!), we had a good time together and Steph was thrilled with her wonky bear-of-little-neck and looking forward to more. We’re going material shopping on Saturday.
My favourite thing about this evening and the birthday project in general has been realizing how perfectly it fits with Siretona Creative’s goal of empowering women in the arts in order to build community that strengthens intergenerational bonds. (Not sure how this might facilitate international reach, but that might not matter right now.)

Conversation: Audrey in Red Deer by phone. Goal: talk about my vision and mission for equipping women in the arts to build community among generations and nations.
- Audrey and her husband hosted one of my first house concerts in 2007. It was a lovely evening then and we’ve wanted to do it again. We’re working on something soon.
- As I shared my vision, Audrey mentioned her sister-in-law, a watercolour artist, whose mother before her is a watercolour artist. (I love those kinds of legacies.) We wondered together about possibilities for this sister-in-law’s art. I mused about the question of what is enough.
Conversation: Audrey’s husband Pete, by phone. Goal: talk about finding me a replacement car with my insurance money. It just occurred to me this morning to talk to him.
Conversation: Kathleen McMillan, by phone & email. Goal: Ponder business direction. Equip me with a pattern & instructions. to make bears.
Conversation: Lana of Keys to Music studio, via Facebook messages. Goal: Ride the scheduling roller coaster together. She’s dialoguing with a family about music lessons for their children and it’s a tricky process. We also talked about co-writing songs with a specific project in mind, and about getting me a house concert or two.
Conversation: Susan, the Accidental Poet/Housewife, via Facebook messages. Goal: Talk details about house concerts, among other things.
Conversation with many people on Facebook & email about my song “My Grandmother’s House” which has gone from #43 to #20 in 2 days on IndieHeaven’s Fan Faves chart!

There are always more, but those are some that stand out at the end of the day. Good night!

clarity of vision

2010-01-07T01:03:00.001-08:00

Today I realized that my approach to conversations needs more focus. Is my goal just to have 2 conversations? What will we talk about? This pondering was confirmed by an email from Today’s TQ:

How Do You Know If Your Vision Is Clear Or Not?

A good reality check on your vision is to explain it to others. If they can't visualize it as well as you can, fill in the necessary details.

The details of your vision supply the needed specifications for its implementation.

Today's Quest...

Answer Honestly:

Have you shared your vision with anyone lately?

___This is the point of the 2 Conversations blog: keeping me on track with connecting about my business/ministry/art._____

What details need to be added to your vision to make it clearer?

___I need to know why I’m approaching certain conversations. Some will be serendipitous, but others must be intentional. I don’t want to manipulate EVERY conversation to make it fit this blog. I just need to have 2 such conversations. Anything more is bonus. _________

Who could share your vision with you today? When?

___Below are some people with whom my interactions related to my vision and goals. ____________

Email & phone: S., who is learning about the value of brokenness. We also talked about the invitation I’ve received to speak at a spiritual emphasis retreat for her school; there’s a meeting at the end of this week, so I should know soon if I’m officially invited and when to make plans.
Email/Facebook interactions with several people about my song, “My Grandmother’s House.” The song rose from #43 to #26 in one day on IndieHeaven’s Fan Faves chart through the votes of so many friends. It will be on the chart for a couple more weeks, so please listen and vote.
Email with Kathleen & Grant McMillan about publishing and the direction of Open Eyes Books.
Heard from a former student, Laura, who’s developing a line of baby carriers. Was able to pass along info about a baby store from my research related Open Eyes Books.
Twitter direct messages:

@gvmcmillan: Shorty Awards nominations.
@Power_of_M: Shorty Awards nomination and my song

More than I realized

2010-01-06T00:04:00.001-08:00

Coming to this post I thought I had failed at my goal, but it quickly became clear that I had exceeded it. A couple of points are a bit of a stretch, but I can afford to throw them in on an conversation-rich day. (The funny thing is, I spend most of the day alone!)

By phone:

Lisa Cornish. Lisa is married to my cousin.

I remember a conversation with her in the summer of 2006 where she was so encouraging about my decision to pursue a creative career. This conversation was memorable because I didn’t even know I was on her radar, but we were Facebook friends and she had been following me enough to comment on and care about my life.
In the past couple of years we both lived in the Last Mountain area in southern Saskatchewan (Arlington Beach, Duval, Strasbourg), and I wish I had capitalized on the proximity to get to know her better sooner. I’m so grateful for the time we did have: Lisa, her husband Don, and their two adorable children Adin & Van.
Just over a year ago Lisa and I collaborated on the song “Child of My Heart” and sang it together at the Options Pregnancy Centre fundraising banquet in Regina.
Lisa has done a couple of photo shoots for me. One with Dara Hallett for our Minus 40 Tour CD promo, the other for book promo, especially BlueBeary.
Today we talked about all kinds of things—relationships, kids, the house they recently bought—and we talked about business, something we often talk about and/or collaborate on. Lisa has reserved a table at a Strasbourg event and is going to set up a display and look for photography bookings. I love her initiative and ingenuity.

A lady in another province whose sister has written a book. The lady wants to help her sister get motivated, but realizes that it doesn’t matter what a person is given, they have to want to do things themselves before anything can happen. For what it was worth we talked about my creative services and possible ways I could work with her sister.

In person:

New tutoring students. I met two new students tonight, a brother & sister. by way of getting to know each other I gave them each a business card and we talked about the pictures and links on the back of it. They suspected that my websites would be designed “to help people learn stuff.” That’s certainly one thing I hope for through Siretona Creative!

Via email:

Kathleen McMillan. After a Christmas reprieve, Kathleen and I are getting our communication flowing again. There’s a lot to think about as we work on the Open Eyes Books series and consider alternate formats and spin-off products, along with the printed versions. We are asking God for wisdom in our business decisions and trying not to lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

With tweets

Yesterday I learned about the @weinerfamily and their important, attractive, and downright delightful iPhone app called “A Family Matters.” Lynette Mattke described it as “an app that takes you out of the app.” I started following the Weiner Family on Twitter, they followed me back, and we’ve exchanged a few messages.

Kim Page Gluckie, @Power_of_M. Kim and I didn’t really talk vision and goals today. We exchanged a couple of tweets, she complimented my new Twitter picture. Kim deserves a mention here for ‘historical’ reasons. When I decided to move to Calgary, I looked for ways to network with other self-employed business women. M-powered Marketing really stood out as something immediately accessible and in my area of the city. So I registered for the November 18th workshop (Time & Money Are Limited Resources: Make marketing choices that save) and was so inspired that I took the next one on December 16th (Exit Strategies). The second one was even more ‘m-power-ing’, but more about that on another day.

Monday, January 4th

2010-01-05T00:32:00.001-08:00

Set up new Twitter hashmark: #2conversations.

Was retweeted by @gvmcmillan: “Great idea! RT @siretona: Anyone can play! #2conversations is based on new http://bit.ly/6u688b. Try for a week, month, all year!”
Inviting anyone who’s on Twitter to send #2conversations tweets.

Chatted with Lynette @picpocketbooks this afternoon to explore some possibilities. www.picpocketbooks.com

Learned about a fantastic new app called “A Family Matters.” Makes me wish I had an iPhone or iPod touch!

Checked in with Lana of Keys to Music Studio about music teaching & BlueBeary ideas (www.openeyes.ca).

some 2009 conversations

2010-01-03T01:38:00.001-08:00

It is amazing how one thing often leads to something else, starting with a conversation:

“Why don’t we ___?”
“Would you be interested in ___?”
“You should talk to ___”
“I’ll introduce you to ___”
Etc.

This past year has been such an amazing progression of conversations the connections and decisions that arose from them. Here’s a brief (and not comprehensive) outline of the year:

January

Minus 40 Tour with Dara Hallett. This was the result of a conversation in September about the possibility of touring together. So we made posters & tickets, made some calls and booked some places, and hit the road for 3 weeks, singing in churches and coffeehouses. Eric Lafrance of Jawbone Studios recorded our final concert in Moose Jaw.

February

Lots of conversations result in a full team for Martha Morgan’s book Notes from Over the Hill.

March

Progress continues on Martha Morgan’s book.
Had been contacted ‘out of the blue’ by Otto Guggemos, a fellow alumnus from Regent College. He had digitally remastered the cassette of my thesis project, and the CD arrives in the mail this month: a nice birthday present.

April

Excellent visit and prayer times with Judith Oldridge and Tammy Evans in Carnduff, SK where they had me sing in their coffeehouse.
My sister Jaime turns 40: wonderful party in Carlyle, SK.
Meet the Jost family when they give a concert at Strasbourg Alliance Church. Beautiful mutual blessings.
First date and conversation with Kevin McCubbin in Calgary.

May

Release Notes from Over the Hill before Mother’s Day.
Conduct songwriting workshop at Write! conference in Saskatoon.
Rich, artful trip to BC.
Kevin visits me at the Calgary airport during my layover to BC.
Writing retreat with Kathleen McMillan. Conceive the BlueBeary children’s book project.

June

Hire illustrator for BlueBeary; edit, design, layout, conversations with our printer—Friesens in Altona, MB.
Host art retreat for Andria Wiehle.
Martha Morgan receives good feedback for the font.
4-day tour with Martha Morgan.
Receive Award of Merit from Canadian Christian Writing Awards for “Child of My Heart,” co-written with Dara Hallett, Lisa Cornish and Betty Taylor for Options Pregnancy Centre.
Kevin takes a day off work and visits for Father’s Day weekend. We have lots of conversations and start dating.

July

Start pre-selling Colleen & Dara’s live CD from the Minus 40 Tour
Digital version of the Minus 40 Tour music available online.
Participate in gospel jambouree in Spiritwood, SK
Colleen & Dara coffeehouse at Arlington Beach family camp.
Visit Kevin in Calgary for long weekend, meet his daughter
Kevin & Steph vacation in SK for 9 days.

August

Official release of BlueBeary on August 1st. Kathleen becomes VERY busy with farmer’s markets, trade shows, and bookstores.
Open a Twitter account: www.twitter.com/siretona.
Kevin attends a wedding in Spiritwood and meets most of the family on my mother’s side. But don’t expect him to remember any names.
I start talking about moving to Calgary by Christmastime.
We start work on the second book in the Open Eyes series of books for children.
We launch Open Eyes fan page on Facebook.
I speak for a week at Manitou Lake Bible Camp.

September

Visit Kevin & Stephanie in Calgary.
Give tribute at funeral for Jean (nee Whittaker) Rohde Mahn.
Jeffrey & I host Bryan Moyer Suderman concert.
Sent away the artwork and music files for Minus 40 Tour CD.

October

Minus 40 Tour CDs arrive in Saskatoon!
Thanksgiving in Calgary. Realized that I need to move on November 13th.

November

Drive to North Battleford for a meeting with two other women about a potential creative collaboration.
Sing at a ladies’ night in Saskatoon.
Say tearful good-byes to the wonderful people in Strasbourg & area.
Drive all night to arrive in Calgary in time for Calgary Children’s Book Fair & Conference. My niece Emma helps out.
Attend an Mpowered Marketing workshop for women and come away “so inspired”!
Friend Susan invites me to an author reading and again I come away “so inspired”!
Live with my brother & sister-in-law for a couple of weeks.
Design new business card.
Launch Siretona fan page on Facebook
Visit Kathleen in BC for some strategic planning and to help with trade show.

December

Moved into my new place.
Returned with Kevin, pulling a trailer, to Duval, SK to retrieve the rest of my belongings. Sadly (though serendipitously), the trip corresponded with the funeral for my friend Alanna.
Attended another Mpowered Marketing workshop. Inspired again.
Got Martha into a Calgary bookstore (Owl’s Nest) and BlueBeary into two bookstores (Owl’s Nest and Monkey Shines).
Start using my dormant LinkedIn account.
Set up this blog.